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I found a dent in my skull. It must have been from some trauma in my childhood. I have several theories on how this happened and none of them paint my mother in a flattering light.

My first theory is related to my Top Gun obsession. I was born in the early 80s and I used to watch Top Gun daily; don’t judge me, everyone was watching it daily back then. That Maverick was just beautiful and don’t get me started on Ice Man who I hated and loved all at the same time. My theory is that the movie came on the tv and in my excitement I dive bombed out of my mother’s arms to race over and hug the screen.

Thanks mom. Keep a better grip next time!

My nieces should be warned, Meemaw cannot be trusted.

Another theory is that my mother was swinging me around in fun. Then she tossed me up into the air and I hit my perfectly formed skull into the old popcorn ceiling we had. Then she played it off like nothing happened.

Mom, I know dad was out to sea a lot, but couldn’t you have contained yourself?!?! I mean, it was only six months…before email…and phone calls that were affordable from other countries…I mean, we got postcards! I’m sure those must have relieved the stress of solitary parenting your three children bent on destruction.

I can’t believe my dad left me with this nut!

My final theory, and I think the most plausible, is that my mother was part of a secret government experiment to try to make humans appear more alien like. You know, to better blend in during the hostile takeover of our planet.

It explains so much about my childhood….

Mother, care to weigh in? And I’m going to go take a nap now so I can harness my energy for the invasion. Or so I can wake up and stop obsessing over this freakishly odd-shaped dome I have.

P.S. I tried to google alien heads so I could include a picture but I freaked myself out since I am home alone and the movie on tv has menacing music playing at the same time. So here’s the picture I had to put up just so I didn’t get nervous when I finally got up the courage to turn around.

Food- TwinkiesAhhhhh, good old Twinkies. Nothing to be scared of here…


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