Today I was added to the shank list. Not my own, I’m not crazy. Ok, maybe I’m a tad bit crazy – but I’m not adding myself to my own shank list!
Lola added me to her shank list.
That’s right! A bulldog managed to secure a crayon and a piece of paper and used them as a weapon to pierce me in the heart. My own squishy face fur baby thinks I’m worthy of a shanking.
To be honest, I’m not even sure how she ended up with crayon – let alone crayon AND paper.
There I am though, on the shank list. I must confess, I deserve the shank list. My actions today have left Lola reeling. She’s now demanding therapy for her traumas and an endless supply of cheese slices – delivered to her on only the best silver.
I should start at the beginning.
Today I decided to do some internet wandering and happened upon a YouTube video I couldn’t resist watching. A montage of puppies learning to howl. I was engrossed in these adorable, wriggling bundles of fur all trying to howl in unison.
In the middle of the montage I heard something behind me. I turned around to see Lola, staring at the computer screen. She looked less than pleased. Before I can turn away, Lola directed her gaze to my face. I could have never imagined that a bulldog could look so vengeful. I’ve seen her give the death stare to the squirrels and bunnies in the backyard.
Those looks were tame compared to the glare I got today.
Lola continued staring at the screen of wriggling puppies for another minute. She then looked at me and very slowly walked back over to the chair she had been napping in.
I can still feel her glaring at me, 12 hours later.
I also tweet like a bird on Twitter @HeatherKeet
Lola and I opened a store so we can sell our funniest blog sayings on cool stuff. Check it out at Shank You Very Much or click to see a special collection below: