This week I spent a lot of time scrolling around on Twitter so I could keep my pulse on America. Alright, I’m lying. If you must know, I spent a lot of time on Twitter because Lola and I are temporarily bored with our Netflix options and we foolishly binge watched the last of the reality television we were saving for a rainy day.
I just know the sky will fall tomorrow and I’ll have nothing to do but watch it through my window.
I did come to a startling revelation during my Twitter travels – humans have forgotten how to use words. Not only have we forgotten meanings, we just reassign words to a sentence without even knowing if those words are the correct synonym for the one we’ve forgotten. Obviously as a writer I had to do some research, so I decided to join in and see if anyone noticed.
Spoiler alert – no one noticed.
I’m not sure if that is something to be proud of because people trust I know words, or if I should weep for the future of humanity. Either way I choose to go, the sky is falling – just like I called it.
I obviously need to run for Congress and take care of this problem.
I didn’t really use this word incorrectly, but I did make some people question if I made it up.
No, no I did not.
There is the possibility that a flummox is a large bird that cannot fly.
(I bet you’re going to Google that.)
Damn that umpteen, ruins everything!
I also tweet like a bird on Twitter @HeatherKeet
Lola and I opened a store so we can sell our funniest blog sayings on cool stuff. Check it out at Shank You Very Much or click to see a special collection below: