Have you ever really thought about the development of cars? Not the general concept, I definitely like getting to my destination in the comfort of an enclosed vehicle that doesn’t smell like a horse’s ass. I’m talking about the idea of engines that can easily race past the speed limits of the roads they were built for.

It is at this moment your brain is coming to the realization that it hasn’t contemplated this, even as it wonders what lane we’re going to venture down today. Your brain is most likely also calculating if it should take the nearest exit off this blogger highway before being twisted into a pretzel by my pondering.

It’s too late, you’re hooked until the end.

A teal/green owl that says

In the United States, the standard driving speed is 60 mph. Sometimes it’s a bit higher, sometimes it’s a bit lower, sometimes it even falls into single digits and tests the most patient of us all. Rarely does the speed limit go higher than 80 mph. While there are a few ‘no speed limit’ roads across the vast country, most people don’t dare push the speedometer past 100, lest a rogue deer or puttering cow decide they need to rest for a moment.

Cows would be thrilled to eliminate a hamburger eating human if given the chance.

As Hubster and I barreled down the highway on our recent road trip, I could not help but marvel at the idea that we have developed engines that go more than double any speed limits in our country. It serves no purpose! We can’t legally drive that fast, so why does our engine need to be able to go that fast?! Car manufacturers brag about the horse power of their engines in the advertisements, and sales people are very enthusiastic in pointing out the roar of an engine – not once until now did I stop to contemplate the absurdity of their sales tactic.

Consumers are paying for something they will never get to use!

If I do choose to use the power that my car is equipped with, I need to be prepared to pay for my speeding tickets and most likely a bit of bail money on top of that. Plus, driving 30 mph over the speed limit will get your car taken away in most states and put in vehicle jail until you prove trustworthy behind the wheel!

I could never pass another driver exam, I’ve been left unchecked for years.

I have pondered this for several nights without satisfaction, despite several late night trips to Taco Bell for inspiration. The best solution I’ve come up with is that we are preparing ourselves for the day the flying car is invented. Instead of introducing us to blinding speed and the laws of gravity at the same time, we’ll only need to work on not pointing our noses into the ground.

I have speed firmly mastered, though if the police ask I’ll deny that.


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Lola and I opened a store so we can sell our funniest blog sayings on cool stuff. Check it out at Shank You Very Much 

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