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This morning Lola and I made the command decision to clean the house. We couldn’t find a maid that we liked and could afford so we’re doing all the heavy lifting ourselves.

Stupid dreams of a maid, it really made us complacent this week.

So there I am, moving all of our furniture, when I get the bright idea to steam clean. You know, freshen up the entire house. I wish my OCD would allow me to do one task a day. This “have to do it all at once or nothing at all” mentality can wreck your weekend.

So there I was, knee-deep in wet carpets with furniture strewn about, when Lola came bounding towards me like the demons of hell were behind her.

Or Jaws, it was kind of hard to tell.

I march down the hall, prepared to find something tipped over or maybe even a puddle on the floor in protest of the very loud steam cleaner.

Nothing.

I continue cleaning and two minutes later Lola comes flying from the back of the house again.

Check again, nothing.

Lola

Then Lola lies down and shakes.

As I’m checking her out I spot what demon has been tormenting her.

I yell out, “that’s a big motherfucking spider” as I sprint away from it.

The Hubster is on duty, not returning until tomorrow. It’s up to me to kill this thing.

I collect my spider killing gear. Gloves, check. Paper towel, check. Toilet seat open, check. Vacuum nearby just in case that spider gets rowdy, check.

I return to the hallway….and it’s empty.

Shank my life! You know that thing is off making spider babies to hatch in my house. Now I HAVE to move everything.

I will find him!

Expect updates to follow if I can’t…..and prepare Lola and I a bedroom in case we wind up at your house.


Check out my Facebook page @ShankYouHeather 

I also tweet like a bird on Twitter @HeatherKeet

You can also find me on Instagram @ShankYouHeather 

Lola and I opened a store so we can sell our funniest blog sayings on cool stuff. Check it out at Shank You Very Much

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