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Lola decided to have an exciting weekend full of fun, laughter, puppy snorts and…

an ultrasound?

Ok then.

Saturday night, at our bedtime potty, Lola started peeing blood. And her Mommybeast hit the PANIC button at the top of her lungs.

I scooped the squisher up and made a dash for the door at midnight. As I drove to the emergency animal hospital, one highway exit away from home, I started to panic and realized I had only brought one of my credit cards. I should’ve grabbed all three to make sure I had maximum buying power. I even called the bank on the way to ensure they knew I was potentially maxing out at a vet and they better not hold up the transaction.

Dear mother of god. I could feel the money flowing out of my savings and there was no way anyone was talking me out of it.

We walk through the door and the lady looks up at Lola and calls out both her orderlies. She says to them she only needs one after all, the bulldog is healthy.

Now, in my head, I’m thinking “She’s pissing blood, that’s not healthy!” But then she went on to ask Lola’s medical history and I said N/A- no medical conditions, no breathing problems, no allergies, nothing. So apparently they were prepared for your typical bulldog, health-wise, and they had two orderlies ready to go.

I already love these people.

We go back into a room where we spend the next 3 hours getting pet, treats, cuddles and ultimately an ultrasound.

Bladder infection. A horrendously impressive one considering she only showed symptoms for a few hours, but easily treated.

And it cost less than Lola’s annual check up does. Less than a coach handbag. A lot less than I spend on my hair color. Less than a PS4, iPad, any Mac product and an AR-15. I am already rationalizing my argument in case Jason skips the concern and focuses on the dollars. Which would be strange, but one must prepare for strange in my house.

And her Daddybeast missed the whole damn thing while he was on duty.

So here’s a great big cheers to having the only bulldog who is easy to care for due to my ridiculous attention to keeping her healthy and active.

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Lola and I opened a store so we can sell our funniest blog sayings on cool stuff. Check it out at Shank You Very Much