I found a dent in my skull.

Cue the panic while I frantically Google the ramifications of this on my health for the next 60 years – regardless of the fact that I’ve made it to 37 years of age without suffering any side effects.

Thankfully the panic subsided and I was able to concentrate on the next important task – figuring out who to blame for this travesty of a misshapen skull. Obviously, I suffered some form of trauma in my childhood.

I have several theories and none of them paint my parents in a flattering light.

My first theory is related to my Top Gun obsession. I was born in the early 1980s and I used to watch Top Gun daily – don’t judge me, everyone was watching it daily back then! That Maverick was beautiful and then there was Ice Man, who I hated and loved with equal breath. Goose, well, he was indeed a bit of a goose in the lineup of handsome swans on the screen. My skull bashing theory is that the movie came on the tv and in my excitement I dive-bombed out of my mother’s arms to race over and hug the screen.

Thanks, mom. Keep a better grip next time!

My second theory is that my skull was dented in a playful incident gone terribly wrong. My father was likely tossing me into the air while I clapped my chubby hands and shrieked with delight. Then, when I demanded more, and more, and more, my father inadvertently threw me just a bit too high – causing me to hit my head into the old popcorn ceiling we had. Those ceilings didn’t just ‘go out of fashion’ like we all assumed.

The dented kid head was a potential lawsuit waiting to happen!

My final theory, which I think is the most plausible, is that my parents were part of a secret government experiment to make humans appear more alien-like. You know, to better blend in during the eventual hostile takeover of our planet.

It explains so much about my childhood….

 

 

4 replies on “Aliens, lawsuits, and a childhood movie obsession…

  1. Hey Heather,
    Thanks for the belly laugh!! There’s a whole scientific discipline devoted to assessing the bumps and divots in the human skull…it’s called phrenology. A bit outdated now that we have so many ways to image the head. They used to think they could determine mental capacity by examining the skull!
    There you go, another bit of useless medical trivia!
    Love you

    Liked by 1 person

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