Dear Lola,
I am having a parenting crisis and I could use your help. My son has finally reached the age to drive and he has been pestering me to take him to get his learning permit. I have been putting him off by requiring him to read the entire test booklet before I will take him in. Lola, this is just a stall tactic. I don’t want him to drive! I am not sure he is ready for the responsibility that comes with a license. I am positive that I am not ready to sit in the passenger seat, shrieking at the top of my lungs for him to hit the brake pedal. What should I do?
Sincerely,
Bicycles are Better
Dear Bicycles are Better,
It’s finally upon us. The season when Miniature Humans go back to school and compare notes on who is getting their driver’s permit and when. This conversation will dominate the cafeteria for weeks, displaced only briefly while everyone discusses what kind of car they will be driving once they’ve received said permit. Meanwhile the teachers stand to the side in silent horror – likely wondering if now is the time to retire before they are permanently bumped off this planet by a Mini Human in a car.
No one should have to die by Prius at the hands of someone barely out of diapers!
I think now is the time to sit down with your Mini Human and discuss your worries. Tell him that driving is terrifying and that you know he will murder someone. After all, he didn’t do so well with that pet goldfish and driving is a much bigger responsibility. Explain that he has to earn your trust before he can drive. First, he has to keep his room clean and his bed made. Then he has to do all his own laundry. He should definitely cook all the meals for at least a month – and do the dishes afterwards! If he can complete all of that, then maybe he is ready for a license.
Based on my knowledge of the Mini Human chore ethic, that should earn you 6 months of peace.
If your Miniature Human makes it to week three without wavering, you are in trouble and will need to step up your game. You will have one more week to convince your Mini Human that driving is not for him. Use the internet to show him the absolute carnage that exists on the road. Make sure to use the pause button effectively, burned out shells of a car will really drive home the point you are making.
I should mention that you both may need therapy after this. In fact, it’s practically a given.
If your Miniature Human still wants to drive, I have some bad news for you. He’s going to badger you until your brain explodes. Good thing he had that month to learn how to clean! Have you considered enrolling your Mini Human in a driving class with a qualified professional? You could avoid the month of terrible dinners, the internet video carnage, the therapy bills, and the inevitable brain explosion. You also won’t be strapped into a death machine with someone who once tried to eat tomato soup with a fork while you watched in frustration.
How could you ever take a Mini Human seriously once you’ve seen that?!
Comfort yourself with the thought that if your Miniature Human is actually not ready to drive, the teacher will not pass him until his skills improve.
♥Lola♥
Send Lola your questions in the comments, or by clicking one of my social media links below!
Check out my Facebook page @ShankYouHeather and @ShankYouDesigns
I also tweet like a bird on Twitter @HeatherKeet
You can also find me on Instagram @ShankYouHeather and @ShankYouDesigns
Lola and I opened a store so we can sell our funniest blog sayings on cool stuff. Check it out at Shank You Very Much
This brings back memories of driver’s ed!! Definitely a scary time…but very good advice!!😂😂
LikeLiked by 1 person
Thank you!
LikeLike
Here’s the fllip side of Lola’s rationale from a 4-times survivor of driver’s ed:
You want your child to have the longest possible time of driving under your supervision. If they don’t get into the driver’s seat until right before they leave for college, you don’t have much time to expose them to all the different road conditions and different types of driving they need to have before they are in a car all alone.
Just a thought…
LikeLiked by 1 person
That’s an excellent point!
LikeLiked by 1 person
Both my boys weren’t permitted to drive solo for almost a year even after they had obtained their driving license until the hubs and I were confident of their driving skills!
#GlobalBlogging
LikeLiked by 1 person
That’s smart thinking – cars are a huge responsibility.
LikeLike
I always thanked my lucky stars when one of my boys got their driver’s license. One less kid to ferry around! 🙂 And, with some strictly enforced guidelines (my kids were not allowed to drive with friends in the car), safer than bikes.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Very good advice Lola! Dead on. I honestly do not know why kids who barely understand responsibility are allowed to drive these days. 🤔 #globalblogging
LikeLiked by 1 person
Sometimes I wonder the same!
LikeLiked by 1 person
I don’t think there can be anything more terrifying than your child being able to drive, and I think I’d also try to delay it as much as possible. And I’d definitely be hiring an instructor – I would not want my children learning to drive like I do! #globalblogging
LikeLiked by 1 person
I think an instructor can really make the difference – let’s be honest, most of us have bad driving habits that should not be passed on to the kids!
LikeLike
My teen can’t it to start driving lessons. I’m dreading it. But, public transport is not great where we live so i know a driving license is inevitable. #GlobalBlogging
LikeLiked by 1 person
If you’re terrified, have someone else teach them!
LikeLike
The bit about tomato soup and a fork made me laugh out loud. Relieved my son is overseas and brother is taking him in hand on things like driving. Makes me able to pretend he is still asleep in his cot upstairs! #GlobalBlogging
LikeLiked by 1 person
Excellent point from Laurie above, I think it is dumb for kids to carry other kids in a car: they just spur each other on to do daft things. I dread our kids learning, but it will be upon us all too soon!! #GlobalBlogging
LikeLiked by 1 person
A pack of kids is never a good idea! My parents banned friends from my car until I was an adult.
LikeLike
What a scary time for a parent but yes I agree if the child in question is insistent on pestering constantly then they probably will have to give in. It’s one of those things that is pretty unavoidable and I absolutely dread it. I learned to drive with an instructor and I think that is absolutely the way to go – it might save a lot of arguments! #globalblogging
LikeLiked by 1 person
Instructors make sure they learn the proper method.
LikeLike
I’ve been in a similar boat. While my teenager doesn’t ask too much, the topic has been brought up on occasion. It’s a terrifying thought putting our teens behind the steering wheel of a 10,000lbs vehicle. I like the idea of a driving teacher though. Definitely worth a look. #GlobalBlogging
LikeLiked by 1 person
The instructor can definitely relieve you of a heavy burden!
LikeLiked by 1 person
Lola you are the wisest !!! Thank goodness dogs don’t have to worry about driving nonsense #globalblogging
LikeLiked by 1 person
Lola is pretty content to be chauffeured around!
LikeLike
I feel your pain. Santa gave 10 lessons with a driving instructor before either my husband or I would get in the car with our eldest. She chucked it in before the 10th lesson (as you have to get 120 hours here and that just seemed too much) #Dreamteam
LikeLiked by 1 person
Wow! 120 hours is a lot!
LikeLike
Back from #DreamTeam
LikeLiked by 1 person
Hello!
LikeLiked by 1 person
Eek amazing how far they have come fron the early days. I would stick to driving classes saves all the stress and fear lol X #dreamteam
LikeLiked by 1 person
And an instructor will make sure all the safety rules are drilled into their heads.
LikeLike
Sound advice Lola. I would totally get a professional to teach them but only after they’ve cooked and cleaned for a month like you suggested. #DreamTeam
LikeLiked by 1 person
Really make them earn it!
LikeLiked by 1 person
I totally understand where you are coming from. I now have 3 boys driving. It’s great they have their independance, oh but the worry! #DreamTeam
LikeLiked by 1 person
Great advice Lola! I’m pretty sure most teens would cave in at the mention of cleaning. Hehe! I’m actually all for the sensible ones getting their license and cars as soon as they are ready. Late in the evening, it’s a lot better for them to come back in their own car than on the bus on their own. #DreamTeam xx
LikeLiked by 1 person
Cleaning shows dedication to responsibility, a true sign someone is ready to drive. And you’re right about the night time bus ride!
LikeLiked by 1 person
Back from the #dreamteam !
LikeLiked by 1 person
Hi 👋
LikeLike
I think these tactic should bide you at least another year…! #dreamteam
LikeLiked by 1 person
I think so also!
LikeLike
I’d definitely get a qualified professional to take them on their learning to drive journey unless swearing under your breath, accosting people who park in a mother & child bay WITHOUT having children with them and being able to open a fruitshoot with your teeth while driving are now test requirements…of course these are my own ‘skills’ you may have others to impart onto your driving offspring? #DreamTeam
LikeLiked by 1 person
Definitely hire an instructor!
LikeLike
Kids in the US do start to drive very early. I know I would be panicking if it were my children. Definitely a professional instructor I reckon even if just to avoid arguments. #DreamTeam
LikeLiked by 1 person
I got my permit to learn at 15. I still can’t believe they let us drive that young! That state now has a requirement that you cannot drive until you’re 18 unless you’ve paid for a professional instructor. Good idea.
LikeLike
On the upside, it does mean you could have someone to ferry you around so you don’t have to drive! #DreamTeam
LikeLiked by 1 person
Very good point!
LikeLike