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This week I spent a lot of time scrolling around on Twitter so I could keep my pulse on America. Alright, I’m lying. If you must know, I spent a lot of time on Twitter because Lola and I are temporarily bored with our Netflix options and we foolishly binge watched the last of the reality television we were saving for a rainy day.

I just know the sky will fall tomorrow and I’ll have nothing to do but watch it through my window.

I did come to a startling revelation during my Twitter travels – humans have forgotten how to use words. Not only have we forgotten meanings, we just reassign words to a sentence without even knowing if those words are the correct synonym for the one we’ve forgotten. Obviously as a writer I had to do some research, so I decided to join in and see if anyone noticed.

Spoiler alert – no one noticed.

I’m not sure if that is something to be proud of because people trust I know words, or if I should weep for the future of humanity. Either way I choose to go, the sky is falling – just like I called it.

'm not sure what a ficus is, but it sounds like a tax we may all be paying without knowing.

I obviously need to run for Congress and take care of this problem.

Feckless sounds like it was supposed to be a rude word before it was censored.

I didn’t really use this word incorrectly, but I did make some people question if I made it up.

No, no I did not.

Someone hand me a tissue, I feel positively flummoxed today.

There is the possibility that a flummox is a large bird that cannot fly.

(I bet you’re going to Google that.)

We were just having fun and then an umpteen walked in and made us stop.

Damn that umpteen, ruins everything!


Check out my Facebook page @ShankYouHeather and @ShankYouDesigns

I also tweet like a bird on Twitter @HeatherKeet

You can also find me on Instagram @ShankYouHeather and @ShankYouDesigns

Lola and I opened a store so we can sell our funniest blog sayings on cool stuff. Check it out at Shank You Very Much or click to see a special collection below: