Dear Lola,

My boyfriend is a bit of a clothing snob. He frequently picks out my outfits and will give me clothing of his that he thinks look better than my chosen item. I’ve noticed that he is very critical of what everybody else wears when we are out together. He will point out various clothing items and recommend a brand and style that would look better. He also does this to any strangers who happen to be within eyesight. While he doesn’t always approach them to point out something that he thinks would look more complimentary, the constant commentary on everybody’s choice of attire means we don’t usually get to talk about other things. I’m not sure if you’ve noticed, but there are a lot of people out in public and this keeps him well occupied. What can I do about this?

Sincerely,
Beau Monde Boyfriend

Advice for humans. They need all the help they can get.

Dear Beau Monde Boyfriend,

My first thought was to tell you to skip the clothing and go nude the next time you get together, but that will only result in your arrest for indecency.

Yet another great reason to be a canine – clothing is optional.

It sounds like your boyfriend might have found his passion in life but he doesn’t get to use it in a productive manner. You didn’t indicate what your boyfriend does for a living, but I’m imagining if he is in the fashion industry this would’ve been brought up as a justification for his possible preoccupation with stranger’s attire. The next time your boyfriend brings up fashion, which probably won’t be long, you should point out that maybe it’s time he turns his passion into his profession. At least then he’ll be getting paid to judge other people! And he’ll be able to put them in better clothing which leaves him fewer people to analyze when dinner conversation has a lull.

It’s not often that I find a win-win situation for the letter writer and the problematic person in their life, but I think I’ve done it here.

You might also invite your boyfriend to help you pick out clothing the next time you go shopping – he obviously has strong opinions on what would look nice on you and based on your lack of mentioning it, I’m guessing you like what he recommends. Now I’m not implying you don’t dress beautifully, but think of him as a free personal shopper. Give him a budget and hit the stores!

Look! Another win-win!

I believe I’ve earned a nap after all of my hard work today.

♥Lola♥

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49 replies on “Dear Lola – Beau monde boyfriend…”

    1. It does sound more like he is trying to help rather than make people feel bad because the tone of the letter did not seem overly annoyed. The tone seemed more exasperated with the same conversation every time they went out, which is why this gentleman needs to change his career so he can use his passion with other people who will appreciate it more.

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  9. Don’t get me wrong in ways I would love if my husband was as interested in clothes as I am but I’m not sure if that level of critiquing is ok. It sounds pretty tiresome. I would try to wean him off it by setting him a challenge – “Ok you’re not allowed to comment on what anyone is wearing for one whole hour. Go!” Maybe it would help….? #globalblogging

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  10. I wouldn’t want anyone critiquing my clothing choices because I like my style and won’t change it unless I want to. With that being said though, I think Lola has given great advice once again to encourage this man to turn his passion into his career. Sounds like he would be good at it and his girlfriend can maybe have better conversations with him away from the fashion talk. Definitely sounds like a calling for the boyfriend. #AnythingGoes

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    2. It was actually a boy who wrote the letter, they are a gay couple. It did sound more like a minor frustration with his partner’s fashion obsession as opposed to someone picking on their partner and criticizing them to put them down. I’m hopeful that channeling his passion will give him an suitable outlet and allow him to think of other things when he’s out with his partner and friends.

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  12. I don’t like anyone recognising where I got my clothes from and once didn’t wear a dress for a year when 2 people commented on the label (that I didn’t know was famous but apparently was very common) I now wear it again because everyone’s forgotten about it. So good thing I’m not shacked up with that guy….but each to his own. #Dreamteam

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    1. As an aside, it’s pouring here and I’m going to the opera House and contemplating wearing my gum boots because they’re funkyish and cosy….so what does fashion snob say to that? (Further aside, the bar tender at the opera house knows me because I go there so frequently so I now think I don’t need to dress up at all as it’s my second home)

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  13. Glad you added the bit later about them being both boys. I was assuming a straight couple and held back from suggesting the clothes chooser needed a change of partner! No it’s down to the clothes chooser one being a bit pushy. He needs to chill! @DreamTeam

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    1. I agree, finances really do dictate what people wear most times. And maybe getting to indulge his passion as a career will help him to learn how to meet the needs of different budgets, while not sacrificing style!

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    1. I agree, if his fashion choices are good then I would definitely listen to him. Especially if he’s offering you his own clothing. He’s obviously not greedy about sharing. That’s a great sign.

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    1. I think significant others can become annoying when they get focused on a topic. Which is why I think focusing the boyfriend on that topic with other people will relieve him of the sole burden.

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  22. I really laughed at the line about how he doesn’t always approach strangers to suggest something more complimentary. It suggests that he sometimes does and the thought of that is hilarious to me. Imagine just walking up to someone saying ‘ you know miss that scarf really doesn’t suit you have you considered a balaclava’ tee hee hee… Great advice as always #DreamTeam

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    1. This gentleman needs to hurry up and get himself a job where he gets to do this for a living and people pay him! If someone did walk up to me in public and say something like that, I would try on an item like they recommended just to see if they were correct.

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