Dear Lola,

I have a terrible confession to make. I was recently entrusted with caring for my friend’s home for a week while she was away on vacation. She invited me to stay at her house so I could care for her pets and make sure everything ran smoothly. While I was in her home, I snooped through some of her things. I looked in her bathroom cabinets and even opened all the kitchen cupboards to see what was in them all. The closet in the guest bedroom I slept in was especially fun to peek through because it seems my friend purchases gifts for our group and stashes them in there throughout the year. Now I’m feeling guilty because I shouldn’t have looked at anything while I was there. My husband says I’m being ridiculous because I didn’t snoop into any actual private places like the master bedroom or her personal closet. I want to confess to my friend and get it off my conscience. What should I do?

Sincerely,
Snooping Susan

Advice for humans. They need all the help they can get.

Dear Snooping Susan,

I’m not sure how closely you follow this blog, but I had Mommybeast run a poll a few weeks ago to gather information about this very issue. In my canine world, I am entitled to walk into any room, at any time, and sniff whatever I happen to come across. I needed to gain some perspective of how your fellow humans expect other humans to act within their home.

A poll showing that people think snooping is despicable

This is the part where I contradict everything the poll results tell you.

You didn’t do anything wrong – at most you violated a common societal norm. You looked in the cabinets of the bathroom your friend offered you. Surely if there was anything of potential embarrassment to her, she would have moved those items before your stay. You also looked through the kitchen cabinets. I am making an educated guess that your friend expected you to use the items in those very cabinets, considering you were staying in the home for an entire week. She wouldn’t want you to starve to death – who would feed her precious four-legged babies? I would also like to point out that not many people store embarrassing nude photos with their silverware.

Was your friend hoping to keep her quinoa obsession a secret?!

Here’s where it gets a bit shadowy – you did snoop through a closet. Most people would call that crossing the line, but I’m not most and I’m definitely not people. You used the closet in the room you were given to stay in. Should your clothes be thrown onto the floor, providing a new bed for her fur friends to curl up in? Surely not!

Though my species would love to nap on your $500 cashmere sweater.

Now you want to clear your conscience and feel better by telling your friend about your deeds. This will either amuse your friend, who likely expected you would at some point look at those three places since they were designated for your use, or cause your friend to feel utterly violated within her own home. I think as far as your conscience is concerned, you need to keep this information to yourself. Carry that burden as your punishment, and as a deterrent to future bad behavior. I know humans put a lot of stock in being truthful, but let’s be honest (see what I did there?!) – this truth will do nothing but hurt your friend. You don’t get to feel better at her expense.

♥Lola♥

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46 replies on “Dear Lola – Snooping Susan rifles through friend’s home…”

  2. I think that it is just understood that if somebody is in your home unsupervised they are going to snoop. I would completely expect it, assume the same was expected of me, and either hide anything embarrassing or specifically point out off limit areas, which I would expect to be ignored #anythinggoes

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    1. I agree with you! I just expect that people will look, some looking places a little more daring than others. I think all of the places this letter writer mentioned were completely within the scope of where she would be as a house sitter.

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  3. I don’t get why you’d tell her, but I also don’t really get why you’d do it. Clearly I’m more narrcissitic than I realised. (even tho I apparently can’t spell the word). #Dreamteam

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    1. I think most people would have a little look around when they are housesitting for a week. And she didn’t go into any personal areas. She stuck to the areas her friend pointed out for guest use.

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  10. If you are staying in the house for a week then you probably would look through some draws and cupboards but not all of them especially ones in the master bedroom I would feel too guilty if I did that. #dreamteam

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  12. I have never house sat for anyone but I’ve been in a situation where I could have snooped while in someone’s house. I have a completely different perspective here though because I could care less what’s in someone else’s house so purposefully snooping in areas that should not be snooped in is not okay by me. However, reading where she snooped, like the kitchen cabinets, made me feel like that wasn’t snooping. She was staying there for a week. She needs to go into those cabinets to make food. That would be expected so I don’t call that snooping. I’m a little unclear why she feels so guilty as everywhere she “snooped”, as you pointed out, she was expected to be. And as someone else pointed out, it’s not like she went into the master bedroom or somewhere very private and found some dark secret the person didn’t want her to see. I’d say she should give her conscience a break and let this go. It doesn’t seem like she did anything inherently wrong. #AnythingGoes

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    1. I also wondered why she was so bothered by guilt over this, I didn’t consider what she did snooping. I considered it reasonable places to look that your friend would not get mad about. I think sometimes people just need something to worry about. But if her conscience is really bothering her, then she should keep it to herself and use this as a deterrent!

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  13. I agree with Lola. Would have been different had you peeked into all her bedroom cupboards or searched her living room etc. Mind you, if you did take something, it may be better to tell the friend – I once had a good friend and her husband stay in mine, turns out hubby was an alcoholic and must have searched every press until he found a nice whiskey bottle designated as a gift (which he emptied) – it wasn’t the cost of the bottle that annoyed me but the fact that somebody must have thoroughly snooped through every single press… #dreamteam

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    1. That is really bad that they searched until booze was found And then didn’t leave an apology note with some money, or replace the bottle after their stay. So rude!

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  14. I think most people probably do this (don’t they?). If it’s in the kitchen, living room or bathroom I think it’s forgivable, but snooping somewhere where you shouldn’t be and where you know you’re likely to find personal/private things, like in their bedroom, is a different matter. If someone was housesitting for me I would almost expect them to do a bit of snooping! I’m definitely guilty of it! #dreamteam

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    1. Honestly, I don’t even consider it snooping that a houseguest looked in the guest bathroom, the guest bedroom, and the kitchen. I just consider that making yourself at home when you are staying in someone’s place for a week for their benefit.

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  15. Absolutely couldn’t agree more – no good can come from confessing! The lesson here seems to be if you are going to feel that bad about doing this then just don’t do it again. Or maybe don’t do it because it is wrong. Whatever you prefer…..! #dreamteam

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  16. Hehe! As someone who’s had guests to look after Alfie in our home, I would most definitely expect looking and the using of stuff in the bathroom, kitchen and the wardrobe where the guest bed is. If everything was left untouched- that’s when I would be worried. Fab post Heather 😊 – I love the ones where your first reaction is noooooo, then you read on and think… oh yes! #DreamTeam xx

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  20. If I was allowing a close friend to stay in my house for a week while I was away I’d have purposely hidden things for them to discover, like an axe hidden in the closet with a collection of Barbara Cartland novels…things to get them thinking whether they know who I really am! Keep snooping, it’s fun! #dreamteam

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  22. Im with Lola on this one, if she didn’t want you seeing what was in the closet she should habe emptied it before letting you stay over.

    #abitofeverything

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  24. We often have either my brother, or my friends sister housesit if we are away, well it is not the house we care about but all our furry people that need to be fed, loved, walked, cuddled! I always tell them to use what they need in the cupboard and always leave goodie pack on the bench full of lovely soaps, and yummy treats, plus tell them there is new ice-cream in the freezer. If they snoop around I really have nothing I wouldn’t want them to see anyway. I pretty much an open book. My secret stuff is in my head lol #Ablogginggoodtime

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