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Every once in a while, you encounter a fellow human who leaves you scratching your head in disbelief – often while muttering to yourself about terrible childhoods making unhappy adults. This is one of those tales told through the lens of Hubster, a man of patience who rarely feels the need to moan about his fellow humans.

It all started with my breakfast request of pancakes and sausage.

Hubster was sent to the local McDonald’s to fulfill my burning desire for breakfast foods. There’s just one problem with the meal – you get three pancakes and only one sausage. You see, I am what you would call a fat kid. I like food and food likes me. I also like even numbers, cutting each pancake into eight pieces like you would a pie. I cut the circle sausage the same way, leaving me with 24 bites of pancake, but only 8 bites of sausage.

Toddlers have gone to war over breakfast problems like this.

Unfortunately, McDonald’s lady took issue with Hubster’s ordering method. He foolishly asked for the pancake platter with two extra sausages, which she marked on the computer before instructing him to pull up to the window to pay. It was there that Hubster sensed there was a problem. McDonald’s lady reprimanded Hubster, telling him he was ‘ordering this in this stupidest way possible.’

Hubster replied with his classic ‘Oh.’ He is a man of few words.

He handed his card to McDonald’s lady, unaware of what to say in response to being called stupid. McDonald’s lady then told him that if he ordered the pancake meal and two sausage biscuits, hold the biscuits, he would leave the restaurant with the exact same meal. However, he would pay half price for those precious extra two sausages that keep peace in the Land of Heather. Hubster is always happy to save money while achieving marital harmony. He asked McDonald’s lady to please do the order that way.

McDonald’s lady was not in the mood for these wild shenanigans.

Instead, McDonald’s lady told Hubster he could save the money next time, then she swiped his card for the higher amount.

I gave you a moment to collect yourself, I’m sure the utter shock rendered you momentarily unable to read more words. And yes, you read that correctly. A worker informed Hubster he was stupid, told him how she could save him multiple dollars on his meal, then denied his request to do so because she… didn’t feel like it?!

Hubster came home and recounted this tale to me, allowing multiple pauses for me to curse heartily. Since Hubster is not one to exaggerate, I do wonder how much nastier McDonald’s lady would have appeared to the rest of us. I also wonder what you, my dear readers, would have done in this situation.

I would have crawled through the drive thru window to talk to a manager.


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