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Have you ever woken up on a Monday and felt you spent the previous week babbling on social media about things that were better left unsaid? Luckily for you, I never feel that way! Instead, I am almost* proud of the weird shit that comes out of my brain.

I vow to you that I will never hesitate to hit the post button once I’ve thought a thought. Especially if that thought involves Lola or a slice of cake.

*In this scenario, almost means insanely. I am insanely proud of my weird brain.

I've been thinking about getting a fitness tracker. I bet couch to refrigerator is 30 steps!

Imagine how great it would be if that distance was actually 40 steps – I could have cake every day thanks to the extra workout!

I skipped a meal this week. I swear I saw my life flash before my eyes!

I’ve had nightmares about it ever since.

Put your right foot in. Take your right foot out. You're going to sing that song all day long now.

I would apologize but I think we all know that given the chance, I will do it again.

My commuting costs are too high. Lola will now only get one treat per hallway transit.

Working from home is so hard. Tough decisions are made daily.

Check out my Facebook page @ShankYouHeather and @ShankYouDesigns

I also tweet like a bird on Twitter @HeatherKeet

You can also find me on Instagram @ShankYouHeather and @ShankYouDesigns

Lola and I opened a store so we can sell our funniest blog sayings on cool stuff. Check it out at Shank You Very Much or click to see a special collection below: