Lately I’ve started to notice that Lola may be staging a coup – taking out the Mommybeast who currently holds all of the power. It began with the little things, first the dropping of my Mommybeast tittle to the disparaging Human. Then refusing to go potty when directed, Lola would instead wait until her bladder was near to bursting and then force Human to race to the door to open it just in the nick of time. Heart beating wildly, Human was left breathless and confused.

Almost imperceptible at first, Lola’s smirk began to grow with each event.

The food revolution started next. No longer satisfied with her portion sizes, Lola would wait until Human REM sleep was in full effect before heaving her innards with wild abandon. Nothing wakes Human from sleep faster than the sound of a retching bulldog. Each time it happened, Human would race across a dark house to procure a slice of cheese – dairy is known to calm a canine belly in upheaval. Human would return to the bedroom in triumph, only to be met by a sarcastic Lola demanding to know what took so long.

Now sleep-deprived, Human was weak and ineffective at preventing catastrophe.

The final blow came when Lola took one of the few joys Human had left. Netflix.

Lola's Netflix

This will be what haunts Human until her dying day, something Lola planned on as a way to retain her power. It isn’t good enough to grab the power, if you can’t manage to hold onto it – a lesson Lola obviously learned from watching crime shows on Netflix.

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36 replies on “The monarchy is in trouble…”

  1. We are having similar escapades with our puppy Lily … can hold out for ages when outside, and then pee the floor with excitement when I make to take her outside, Kind of defeating the purpose!!!

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  5. I do sense that Tucker is in on this coup, and his strategy seems to be undermining my mental health by lying directly in-the-way, and then, when told to move, going forward to EXACTLY the next place I was going to be, so he can be in-the-way twice.

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  15. OK mental note, do not let my dogs watch crime shows!! You know though I have many dogs so I think I am loosing the battle of who is in charge around here. Ironically though our two smallest dogs appear to be in control, Holly-Rose refuses to ever be outside unless it is to toilet or walk. And Stella who looks as sweet and cute as can be runs the outdoor feed time, if there is a bone she will have rights to it! Good luck regaining control! Be nice Lola, be nice xx Love her! #GlobalBlogging

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  17. I have similar issues with the cats in my house. Lately they have been hell bent on waking me up in the middle of the night by climbing over me to my night stand (something they never do) and breaking my beautiful coaster. My older cat is the most trouble in the middle of the night. He also loves to sit at my son’s bedroom door and meow like his life depends on it for two hours. At 2am no less. #GlobalBlogging

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