People have a tendency to trust ‘true’ professionals when they give out advice. Financial professionals, doctors, lawyers – all are sought for trustworthy advice and people will listen, even when it seems farfetched. Then there are professions where the complete opposite occurs and people doubt every single word that comes out of the person’s mouth. Childcare providers, teachers, dry cleaners – people may ask a question but they are positive that they already know the answer because the internet told them something better. After 13 years in childcare, I was thrilled to move to a profession where people would heed my advice as accurate, even when far-fetched.

Writers know words that you could only dream of using correctly.

After over a year of writing for paying clients, I decided to test how far that trust in my profession stretched. I made up a word and convinced people it was a real thing. This was tricky because it needed to sound plausible and able to slip into natural conversation. I counted on people being unwilling to admit they didn’t know what the word meant, trusting I knew of what I spoke. The most important part was to use the word in such a way that the listener could determine a vague definition based on context.

Obviously I tested this out on friends and not paying clients – I need my snack money.

Behold, the magnificence of my new word. I am fully expecting that a few people may send me private messages of treachery and deception. I not only managed to convince three people the word was real, but one of them used it on their spouse and was not questioned. I’ve baked some apology cake if you want to stop by the house and tell me how duplicitous I am in person. Cake makes everything better.

A text box that defines a fictitious word 'malarp' as wasting someone's time for your own amusement or gain

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49 replies on “Trust me, I know big words…”

  4. That is malarpin’ hilarious! Another writer used a word in a comment on my blog that I thought was made up – doughty – but it turns out is a real word. I had to look it up!

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  6. This is hilarious – I invent new words all the time at home just for a laugh – in both English and Punjabi. Sometimes I let them in on it and sometimes I keep it going. #DreamTeam

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  13. Ha! Very good. I often find myself accepting a word based on context, though I do tend to look it up later. I find the breadth of my vocabulary embarrassing – so I’m interested in words that will better express my thoughts or opinions.

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  26. Ha ha ha this is brilliant Heather !!! Now you’ve put the idea in my head though I really need to try out this fun game ! Congratulations someone loved this post so much they added it to the #blogcrush linky

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