Every so often I get tagged in these blogger hostage situations – I’m asked to fill out some sort of questionnaire, invented by an unknown person. I don’t know what happens if I break the chain, but I do know that I don’t want to find out. One day I’ll be enjoying my internet wanderings and then BAM! I’m in the internet, fighting for my very survival, and praying I can return to my home if I do everything right. We’ve all seen Jumanji, it could damn well happen! So I’m going to fill out this list and cross my fingers that I don’t have to fight a wild lion with only a slice of cake as a weapon.

10 Things That Piss Me Off

When a vending machine takes my money but doesn’t give me the snack. I think they need to put a panic button on those machines that connect to customer support via video, so that I can rage against the company responsible for my pain and suffering.

Being really hungry and knowing that nothing in the house can possibly fill the void of the food I am craving. The food always being Taco Bell.

Stubbing my toe into the foot of the bed. I want to fucking scream every time that happens. (I do scream. I scream loud. I once had a neighbor call to ask if everything was ok. Nothing was ok.)

People who tell me they read my blog when they don’t. You do realize that I have a public platform with which to roast you, don’t you?!

Using the last paper towel on the roll. Sometimes I just wipe my hands on my pants to avoid having to replace it. I want magic never-ending rolls and I want them now!

When someone calls me to tell me to call them back. Just writing that sentence pissed me off. STATE YOUR PURPOSE!! I’ll decide if I call you back based on how stupid your request was. (I won’t call you back. I may text you though, but only if you’re not on Twitter. If you’re on Twitter, that is the only way I’ll communicate with you from now on.)

Going to the grocery store. I haven’t been inside one in over a year, yet my mother always insists we’ll ‘pop in’ when she visits me. (No, no we will not. I will order anything you need, and a guy will put it into the car while I sit in the parking lot.)

My squeaky desk chair. I’ve oiled every possible nook and cranny and the damn thing won’t shut up. I guess it motivates me to work efficiently and get the hell out of there!

That excruciating minute when Netflix is loading up for the first time in the morning, but you already know exactly what you want to watch…then you can’t find it because Netflix waved their wizard wand after you turned it off last. I should have added it to my viewing list when I had a chance, now I just have to wander their menus hoping to find the show again. Obviously I do not remember the name or I could just search it. Damn you Netflix!

The ending of Seinfeld. I know, they say go out on a high note, but I’m still miffed. May 14, 1998 – the day before my birthday – Seinfeld aired its final episode. I’ve been slightly pissed ever since.

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82 replies on “10 things that piss me off…”

  1. You have created a very relatable list. TV series ending always bother me too… Parenthood, Glee, Downton Abbey, Prison Break… Don’t get me started! #DreamTeam

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  4. Hi, this list made me smile because I can see many of these annoying me as well. I hate stubbing my toe and am not sure why I seem to do it in the same place. Oh an don’t get me started on using the last paper towel #dreamteam

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  8. Yes! Gosh I think my list gets longer every time I start to think about it. I can relate to so many of these and if I go inside the supermarket I never come home with the one thing I went in for!! #DreamTeam

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  9. Agree with all, except for Taco Bell and Seinfeld. We don’t have Taco Bell here in the UK, so I have no idea what I’m missing, and never watched a single episode of Seinfeld! lol I think I will have to replace that with people who replace toilet rolls the wrong way round, it has to be facing out!!! #DreamTeam

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  11. Your comment on toe stubbing made me laugh – my husband often asks me if I need him to call an ambulance after I stub my toe… I think he thinks i’m slightly over dramatic (i’m not by the way, it really hurts!). I’ve never read your blog before, i’m glad you’ve fiund somewhere you can vent 😉 #DreamTeam

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  12. Ooh the “call me back” thing is a good one! Erm. Nope. I pay for my phone for my convenience – not yours! 😂 Love this Heather x #DreamTeam

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  14. Women who insist on talking to me in the public restroom! I don’t know you and yes it is a lovely day now hush up and leave me alone to do what I gotta do!!! #dreamteam

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  19. Hehe these made me smile! I’m getting so mad with rubbish timekeepers at the moment. People who say they’ll ‘call back in 5’ but take 15 mins, or tradespeople who will be ‘round after lunch’ and then turn up at 3pm. That was some lunch! Sorry, I can feel myself on a rant now! #dreamteam

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  21. Holy shit, this is so great. I agree. Like, on everything. The food problem and also people saying they read my blog. My own mother does this but she literally texts me daily asking for photos and what Im up to. Read my blog… theres everything you wanna know about me.. damn #dreamteam

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  22. Ooh , I can agree with all of your ramblings. No longer purchase anything from vending machines just for that reason. It is the most painful thing ever stumping your toe and the words that follow afterwards does not make up for it the misery. Just take a deep breath and let it all out.#dreamteam

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  25. I am in agreement with all of these: especially the Netflix one! I find it is the little, everyday things that annoy me the most… also, when my husband can’t seem to find the bin when he has used the last of the toilet paper!!! #DreamTeam

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  26. Haha 😂Heather – how do you make something like a list of things that piss you off so funny!? The vending machine is a cracker. I do the toe thing too, but usually snubbing mine on Alfie’s rubber dinosaur that he loves to leave in the most awkward of places. I’m sure the neighbours are sick of me squealing. #Dreamteam

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  28. These are all so relatable! Especially the squeaky chair, I have an issue with the squeaky door, really bugs me! #DreamTeam

    Soffy // themumaffairs.blogspot.com

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  31. I’ve gotten frustrated with Netflix many times. I often have to put shows into my list in order to find it again and even then sometimes I have a hard time finding it. To be fair though, that isn’t Netflix’s fault but my own for sharing my Netflix with teenagers, grr! #DreamTeam

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  40. hahaha great list – the paper towel eh. Me its the loo roll. When the kids are home and they’ve used the last of the loo roll and not replaced it and i don’t notice until the ‘business is done’ and I have to waddle to the cupboard with my knickers round my ankles (particularly awkward and risky if we have guests in the B&B!!!!! #LGRTStumble

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  41. All of these. ALL OF THEM!!! I could add one or two. If you read my blog then leave a comment! Just say hi. Put in am emoji….anything!!! On….and finding where the dog puked in the middle of the night….barefoot….I will leave that one there. Love your blog! #bigpinklink

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