I am not ashamed to admit that I am a fat kid. I have worked very hard to earn the accolades that come with my status. I frequently impress people with my skills at mimicking a statue for hours on end – with only my eyes moving as I track the tv screen. I have also been commended on my ability to eat foods that would lay out the average human – like a deep-fried Oreo. While everyone else could feel their arteries clogging, I was plotting how many I could eat before I died.
I stopped at two because I got nervous that no one would be on hand to do CPR if things went wrong.
Lately though I’ve been peer pressured into visiting my doctor since I haven’t had a physical in a few years. Before you jump all over me, I have been to many, many doctors in those three years. Once when my appendix tried to murder me in my sleep – I’m still a bit bummed they wouldn’t let me see if after it was removed. I also visited the doctor about a dozen times before my gallbladder made its final attempt on my life and they decided to yank that organ out. Once again, they wouldn’t let me see it, they acted as if I might try to steal it to display in a jar to freak people out or something…
I made the appointment to visit my primary doctor and then I had a moment of panic.
What if my rugged lifestyle was leading me towards diabetes and heart problems? Would the doctor make me give up my beloved bacon and cake? If my cholesterol wasn’t perfect would the doctor snatch the very precious cheese out of my hands? Would I be forced onto a salad diet, dressing on the side?! I can’t be one of those people! I can’t, I won’t!
Why didn’t I take better care of my body?!?! WHY?!!
I had no need to worry. I can now tell anyone who cares to listen that my body is a ridiculously well-tuned machine. All my labs came back excellent except for that bastard Vitamin D. I get a pass on that one though, practically everyone in WA state is deficient thanks to our lack of sunlight. The doctor was thrilled that she didn’t have to give me her “you are about to develop a serious disease and die” speech that makes people cry.
Someone bring me a deep-fried Oreo! I’ll also take some cake if you’ve got it!
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Great post! Glad you got a vote of confidence from the Doc – Enjoy the deep fried Oreo! #AnythingGoes
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It was a relief!
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Ha ha. Love it! Getting an body MOT is such a good idea! Deep fried Oreos though! That sounds gross!
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They sound gross but are so delicious!
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Being in the west of Scotland, deep fried Mars bars (and pizzas) are our speciality. Lush…so I feel you on the Oreos!
Glad you got a clean bill of health! I wish it was the norm here to go for a whole body check up. The doctors here only want to see you once you’re already ill.
#anythinggoes
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Ours doctors used to only care when we were sick but now they realize that costs a lot more money. Preventative care saves a ton by catching things early!
Deep fried candy bars…sounds delicious!
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I’m glad you got a clean bill of health. I’ve never tried deep friend oreos but the only things I like fried are chicken and fries. I have a pretty big weakness for those, lol! #anythinggoes
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Chicken and fries are the ultimate fried foods, anyone who doesn’t like them are probably robots!
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Haha Robots! You’re probably right! Coming back around from #DreamTeamLinky
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Glad the dr report came back fine…but not sure I’m with you on the Oreos…? #Dreamtteam
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I’m glad you got a clean bill of health. I’m with you on the gallbladder they wouldn’t let me see mine either. Although apparently people used to have jewellery made from their gallstones. I’m not sure that would have appealed to me but each to their own! Go enjoy your Oreos but I’ll stick with deep fried mars bars for now. #dreamteam
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Oh, deep fried mars bar sounds delicious!!!
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Glad all was well with you in the end! I’m a total chocoholic so I do worry about my diet. #dreamteam
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Ha – glad it all went well! I’m intrigued by this idea of a deep-fried Oreo…#dreamteam
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They are delicious. But don’t eat more than two, it’s dangerous!!!
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Glad that all went well at the doctor. Yes we sometimes neglect to take care of ourselves and our health. But seeing that you took the necessary measures in the right direction – you deserve that deep fried Oreo.#Dreamteam
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Thank you, my belly thought so too!!
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Good on you for going and getting everything checked. These things can be a worry and we put them off, like the dentist, yet when we go it’s so often a relief. xx #dreamteam
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It was a relief! I’m already looking forward to next year’s physical!
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Well done for going lovely and I’m glad to hear the doctor didn’t have to give you the scary speech! What on earth does a deep fried Oreo taste like?!x #dreamteam
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The Oreo basically melts inside the batter. It’s like a waffle batter only sweeter. So delicious!
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You sound like my husband, eats/drinks what he wants and continues to have a clean bill of health. I’m only bitter because I’m jealous. So reassuring you’ve been given the all clear. As for the vitamin d – at least that’s easy to solve. Move to the Caribbean 😉 #DreamTeam
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Ah, the Caribbean! I was actually raised in Hawai’i so this vitamin D problem is totally new to me. It’s an odd problem!
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Ha, that’s hilarious, I didn’t expect you to be raised somewhere hot. We’re in desperate need of Vit D in the UK at the moment.
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Mmmm deep fried Oreo. Mmmmm I mean… I hope it goes well
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Whoop!!! I knew eating cake was good for us, ha!! Also, doesn’t your doctor know that you’re officially part of the #DreamTeam now?! Cake is mandatory here!! Happy first week guest co-hosting! xxx
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Thank you, I’m having a blast with hosting!
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Glad you got a good bill of health. My mummy loves cake and its her only vice. Everything in moderation she says x #DreamTeam
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Glad you have been given the all clear! I am a huge eater too and always did exercise so could justify it. I’m now looking at how I can still have what I want but how I can adjust it a little so I don’t do damage.
Erin
#dreamteam
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Getting older is rough! Remember tryout 20s when you didn’t worry about things?! Then you hit your 30s and you start to realize that you won’t live forever.
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I always grew up being told ‘ A moment on the lips is a lifetime on the hips’. Happy to hear you got a clean bill of health. #Dreamteam
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Glad you are fit and healthy, but it is a lot easier said than done….I used to be a healthy eating freak….then I had three children and by mid afternoon I need the sugary treats to boost my mood!!!! #dreamteamlinky
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I adore my treats, I’m so glad the doctor didn’t take them away!
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What a relief your health report came back clean!! My husband eats whatever he wants and I’m super jealous that nothing seems to affect him. We live in London, UK, so there is a lack of sun and Vit. D deficiency seems to affect alot of people! Maybe it’s time to just book another holiday to a sunny destination! #DreamTeam
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Book that vacation and enjoy it!!!
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ahem.
I’m a doctor and I’m getting on my soapbox.
You don’t have to be ashamed of being a “fat kid” or eating fried oreos. (once in a while).
You DO have to be ashamed of knowing you have bad habits, being scared of your bad habits, but geting a “get out of jail free card” from your doc, and going right back to your bad habits. TSK!
You know better, girlfriend. Don’t make me come after you.
You’re young and have time on your side. ….but not for long! (cue evil laugh).
ok, I’m getting off the soap box. Please don’t shoot me.
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to be clear, I am in RI, so I can’t ACTUALLY come after you b/c that would be an expensive flight to WA state, but you get what I’m saying. Also, New England positively has you beat in the lack of sun and vitamin D department. Mine was in the turlet last year, at 13 or something. I was worried i’d take a wrong step and break a hip.
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My number was a 9. Apparently that is horrible!
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I loved the evil laugh! I shall endeavor to do better about limiting my crap food habit!
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Vit D. Book a holiday and blog from their to get that up 😉 #DreamTeam
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OMG you could go somewhere lovely and warm, drink margaritas AND eat deep fried Oreos! Imagine (drooling like Homer Simpson).
Well done though! You must be doing something right!!
PS well done for being Linky host. x
#dreamteam
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Thank you!
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Loved this piece, especially the suspense at the end! Loll. I love a good deep fried oreo! #dreamteam
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Phew glad the tests came.back healthy! X #dreamteam
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Good on you… sometimes we just have to embrace who we are and enjoy life. I need to lighten up and be less hard on myself or I’ll find that early grave through stress #dreamteam
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Glad you got a clean bill of health. I love cake, and sugary things. They are definitely my weakness but I think a deep friend oreo is my limit! #dreamteam
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Glad you got a clean bill of health. I have that fear too, visiting the docs and getting told its all gloom and doom! Haha x
#dreamteam
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We don’t really have physicals in the UK but I hate to think what mine would say as I too like cake! Great that you got a clean bill of health!
#dreamteam
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Gosh we don’t have to have physicals in the UK like this – I’d be terrified about what mine would say! I eat far too many sweets and crisps (candies and potato chips I think over the pond!) but it goes to show that, actually, if you’re listening to your body you’ll be fine. Deep fried Oreos though?! I don’t think I could do it! #DreamTeam
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I didn’t think I could don’t either…one bite later and I was hooked!
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Haha, this post gave me a good giggle. I had a kind of physical as work were handing them out on my break, I was well scared (as it was when I used to smoke) but I was super fit and healthy somehow? We don’t seem to have physicals in the UK, I think you can if you want to but people forget to ask the GP. I would be just as worried as you though if I had to have one now as my hobbies include: cooking with at least half a litre of double cream everyday and making Christmas hot chocolates (thanks to everyone discussing them in blogs) #dreamteam
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I want to come to your house, you know what you’re doing in the kitchen!!
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Haha that I do x
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All the love for this! And I now really want tacos and cake! 🌮 🎂 #DreamTeam
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Oh my goodness! Deep fried Oreo’s? What do they taste like? I can’t quite picture it, but now I can’t stop thinking about sausages in batter (deep fried sausage in a crispy batter), the ones that you get from the chip shop. Great that your results came back all clear. It’s always a bit of a worry isn’t it, but a good thing to do. Thanks for being a brilliant host on the #DreamTeam xx
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The oreos are dipped in a batter similar to waffle batter, then the Oreo basically melts inside. It’s the most amazing taste ever!
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Phew I’m glad your time at the Drs didn’t come complete with tear inducing speeches!!! I think my teens would go nuts for deep fried Oreos #DreamTeam
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So glad to know that you are healthy! Despite Taco Bell! It is also good to know you are thinking about being healthy and not getting some dreaded disease. Love ya kiddo, so stick around! Fried Oreos in moderation for all! ❤ #dreamteam xoxo
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Definitely moderation! I had two and it’s been about 3 years. Another year or two of waiting and I can have another fried Oreo 🤣
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Yikes!!! I still prefer 🍦 ice cream, but Oreo cookies are pretty awesome too. 😘
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Great to read that all is well. #DreamTeam
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Glad to hear all is well! If cake is the question, the answer is ALWAYS yes. #MondayStumble
Nat.x
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Always cake!!!
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I’m so glad you got the all clear. Deep fried Oreo? Sounds like a guilty pleasure I would love!
#mondaystumble
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It is indeed! They are the perfect dessert!
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congrats on getting the all clear! deep fried oreo? I’ve heard of a mars bar but oreo? ewwww #dreamteam
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Popping back from #AnythingGoes
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I want to say something positive but… deep fried Oreo?? 😂
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Delicious. Deadly, but delicious!
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