I read a shocking news article about a lady (we’re calling her Linda) who lit a car on fire in a McDonald’s parking lot. Now, before you blame a poor fast food worker for Linda’s rage, I will mention that the car belonged to her husband (we’ll refer to him as Husband because Fucking Moron seems slightly harsh). I know there will be people who immediately discount Linda as crazy, but I think you need to understand the subtle nuances at play in this story before drawing conclusions. Linda’s been through a horrible ordeal, one I hope never befalls any of you.
Linda’s husband wouldn’t buy her a McFlurry.
For those of you who have never been to a McDonald’s (wow, where do you live?!) a McFlurry is not just your ordinary milkshake. It is a delicious blend of soft serve ice cream and candy pieces. In succinct terms, it’s nirvana in a cup.
Naturally, Linda did the only thing she could do. She lit Husband’s car on fire to make it clear that snacks are a hard limit in their marriage. Since this was probably not the first time Linda has been bitterly disappointed in Husband, I’ve been contemplating a few likely scenarios that led to this final, fiery outburst.
1) Poor Linda had just fasted for three days in preparation of a medical procedure. A medical procedure that was deemed unnecessary at the last-minute, leaving Linda hangry for days for no reason. Linda was so overcome by Husband’s refusal of a dessert, she lashed out on the only thing he loved more than her. Well, I hope this is the only thing Husband loves more than her because Linda’s shown she can be vicious when necessary.
2) Linda was experiencing pregnancy cravings but Husband was like “Hell no, we got a kid coming. We need to be frugal. Order off the $1 menu.” Silly Husband. You never argue with a pregnant person – survival of the fittest should have eliminated Husband from the gene pool before now. Linda, so infuriated at Husband’s arguing over the cravings of a fetus, decided to show him what the rest of the pregnancy would be like.
Husband better run fast, run far, and never look back… that’s usually when you trip and the person chasing you catches up.
3) Husband was a big fat jerk. He got the cars, the video games, the clothes, and the TV remote. The McFlurry was the only thing Linda had until he refused it. Linda decided to burn it all down, starting with the nearest item. Husband better get home quickly, because Linda isn’t finished with you yet. The video games are going to get it next!!
My own dear Hubster better not turn down my request for a snack because I took notes on Linda’s strategy…
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Wow! You know how to take a serious story and turn it into the funniest thing. Not sure the McFlurry was at fault for her lighting his car on fire but it sure didn’t help that he deprived her, lol. #anythinggoes
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If the news would light en up just a tad, I think we’d all appreciate the evening round up so much more!
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I agree!
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Made me lol. When you need a McFlurry, you need one. #anythinggoes
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Yep! Hubster has been warned!
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Ha ha. I’d never let my husband tell me what I could it couldn’t have. I’m way too bossy for that! But I’ll be honest I’m not that keen on McFlurries (don’t judge me!)
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I won’t judge you! I have to be in the mood for one, it’s not real ice cream so sometimes it’s a disappointment
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We very nearly had a similar incident when my husband refused to get me a blue slushie when I was heavily pregnant. Just kidding. He’s not that stupid! #dreamteam
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Slushees are a favorite of mine!!!
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She’s stupid, she should own the purse strings and the car and let the husband beg for what he wants! That’s what I do anyway 😀
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Hahahaha! Good system! You’ll never miss out on your snacks!
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I could see my wife doing this #anythinggoes
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Hubster initially thought I was writing out my future plans!
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No judgement here. I mean sometimes you just need to explain things in terms that a husband will understand. Sometimes you just really want an ice cream. 😂 Thanks for linking Heather. This could be a new angle for you! “Heather brings us the news behind the news” kinda thing? #DreamTeam xx
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Since I read this article, I’ve actually been trolling the news to find more stories that I could write a funny twist on. The news is so damn depressing, sometimes we just need to make fun of it!
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Absolutely! You are the perfect person to bring us that news. x
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Wow, go Linda haha
Thanks for linking up to #AnythingGoes 🙂
Debbie
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Candy, ice cream — I can see how the arsonous event had to occur. Put the bastard behind bars, stat! #dreamteam xo
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I knew you would understand!!!
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Some time the truth is indeed stranger than fiction #fortheloveofBlog
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My husband knows better than to deny me food of any kind lol.
#fortheloveofBLOG
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I know, you think all men would know this by now!
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Well I hope he’s learnt his lesson …. I also really fancy a McFlurry now!!!#fortheloveofBLOG
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If he didn’t learn his lesson I’m sure we’ll hear about it soon!
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I like scenario 3 best! #bigpinklink
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#3 has the ring of truth to it that we can all envision!
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Woah…. don’t ever get in the way of a pregnant woman and her cravings. Especially for a measly $1 mcflurry! Silly guy. Xx #bigpinklink
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Haha! My husband regularly leaves me out of snacks… I might have to push this under his nose 😉 #bigpinklink
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Make sure he understands the consequences of his doing this in the future!
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Haha!!!!!!! This is epic. Mind you, if Hubby stood in the way of me getting some snacks when I’m hangry I could see the justification in setting fire to his car as punishment… “Let me at the Maltesers!!!!!!” 😉 Thanks for joining #bigpinklink x
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Hehe, this made me giggle. 🙂
Gotta have your snacks!
#bigpinklink
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This made me laugh out loud. McFlurries are the best – my ultimate is the Oreo flavor. But don’t deprive a pregnant woman – hormone rage. So her husband will be getting it in doses.#bigpinklink
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Ha ha this made me laugh, however she must have been seriously angry to set fire to his car. It’s crazy how the little things can set us off! Thanks for linking up at #fortheloveofBLOG. Claire x
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Oh did the poor car, maybe it was post a 3 day fast 🙈 #bloggersbest
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After 3 days of no food I would burn my own car down!!
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That’s why I always drive to McDonalds to get my own McFlurry, haha. Great post. Renee #bloggersbest
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You are a wise woman!!!
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haha I love your speculations!! I wonder what was really going on in her head?? #bloggersbest
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I wish I knew!
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hahaha! It serves the husband right! No one should stand between a woman and a McFlurry! #bloggersbest
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Totally get this! I don’t blame her at all! #bloggersbest
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Husbands everywhere will give us snacks without question thanks to this lady!
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I am disabled and rely totally on my husband to bring me snacks, I can tell by what he gets me how impressed, or not, he is with the way I have carried out my physical excerise! #mondaystumbkeupon@_karendennis
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That would definitely motivate me to do my exercises! Cookies make me so happy!
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Was her hubby in the car at the time? Bet he got out in a McFlurry if he was: either that or he would have been fries!
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Hahahahahaha! I see what you did there 🤣
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He’s lucky it wasnt him she lit up!!😀
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Exactly!
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