Dear Lola,
I am a blogger who writes very funny things on the internet. I have even been known to make a few people laugh out loud. Some of my posts feature my son, who likes to explore the inner workings of indoor plumbing. It seemed to be met with hearty chuckles and pats on the back from my readers. Then the rug was pulled out from under my feet. I made the mistake of checking Google Analytics and it said my blog sucks. Sure, it didn’t use the word suck – but I knew what they were tiptoeing around. What do I do about this?
Sincerely,
Blindsided Blogger
Dear Blindsided Blogger,
I have had my Mommybeast read me a few of your posts as research for my response. She had to stop a few times as I was laughing too hard to hear what she was saying. I may have even needed a few moments outdoors to relieve myself – nothing is more embarrassing than piddling on the carpet from excitement. Your readers are correct, your blog is very funny. So what shall we do about The Google?
Well, I think we need to ignore The Google. Obviously The Google was dropped on its head as a baby and doesn’t understand humor or sarcasm. Everyone can relate to having plumbing disasters when the Miniature Humans try to understand the workings of a toilet. I myself think it is magic, but I’ve never gotten a good enough peek to say for certain that the toilet has a fairy living inside of it, flushing when needed.
I also think we need to question users of The Google. Perhaps they are trying to find your blog but they keep getting distracted by cute dog pictures on the internet. I know my Mommybeast has a hard time staying focused – I’ve caught her cheating on me more than once. If you add an English Bulldog photo to your blog, you may see an increase in your daily traffic.* I would be happy to model for your camera if you need assistance.
In the meantime, ignore The Google. It really just tries to show off its superiority over humans by using confusing numbers.
♥Lola♥
*This is purely based on the premise that people cannot resist a squishy-faced puppy.
Send Lola your questions in the comments, or by clicking one of my social media links below!
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Very funny! X
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Lola is indeed correct. Ignore The Google (but don’t tell them I said that).
#globalblogging
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Ignore google – if you enjoy what you are doing, keep doing it, I say. #GlobalBlogging
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Lola is correct… The Google was dropped on its head as a baby. So funny! #globalblogging
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#Lolasaysso !!! Take that Google… #globalblogging
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Screw you google analytics. Dear writer- you keep doing you. Thanks for linking up to #globalblogging
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I hate the analytics, they never look right! I hate when it says I’ve had two visitors and yet 12 comments from different people. How is that even possible?!
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Ah I love Lola and her ever awesome advice! And I agree – The Google can be very frustrating and confusing, and should be ignored. 😀 #GlobalBlogging
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The Google has gotten too big for their britches!
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I remember being devastated when I first set up GA and realized that WP analytics had been counting bots and spammers as real people. Went from thinking I had 300 visitors a day to 30. really freed me up to start writing whatever TF I wanted from that point on though. #humpday
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Google has a lot to answer for lol. Lola is right, ignore google and keep doing what yu are doing x
#fortheloveofBLOG
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I agree with Lola – ignore the google haha x
#fortheloveofblog
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Can i come to Lola for advice anytime?! 🙂 Love this!! such great advice, always ignore the Google!! 🙂 🙂 #fortheloveofBLOG
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Lola loves dispensing advice to humans and welcomes questions all week long!!
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The Google lies! Anyone who has looked up their health concerns knows this 😀 #DreamTeam
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The Google always tells me I’m already dead when I look up medical information!
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Who needs The Google anyway #humpdaylinky
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I try not to look at the stats unless I have to. Cute animals def help though 😂 #humpdaylinky
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Back from #dreamteam. I was thinking about this post a few days ago when I had what I thought was a really good day, 97 users visiting the blog. The following day there was only 42 added onto my weekly total. GA can be a bit of a tease. Best not to worry about the numbers at all or we’ll go crazy
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Exactly! They just mess with us until we are babbling incoherently!
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I think that may actually be the case. bastards
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Don’t get me started on stats! You’re a bloody brilliant blogger so F the stats! #bigpinklink
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I guess statistics are only one measure. If you’re happy your blog rocks. #BigPinkLink
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Stats are not everything, if you make perplexing smile or laugh and enjoy what you do that is all that counts #bigpinklink
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Artificial Intelligence be damned! It has no sense of humour. Your blog is funny. #bigpinklink
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Thank you so much!!
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Back from #dreamteam I am SO BEHIND! xoxoxo
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Take your time, I’m behind also. It’s Thursday and I haven’t made it back to my Monday link ups to share people who linked after me 🙁
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Cute dog spam is always a winner in my book – you’ve hit the nail on the head there Lola 😉 The Google sadly doesn’t know a good thing when it sees it… I reckon it just makes up stats anyway and we all blindly believe it! Keep making people laugh & I’d say you’re a total success #bigpinklink
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Perfect advice from Lola, I regularly ignore The Google! Thank you for sharing with #bigpinklink x
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Popping in from #ThatFridayLinky xo
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Google analytics is the devil ha! You think you are doing well and then…actually perhaps not so much! Thanks for the advice Lola and thanks for linking with bloggersbest x
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I agree – ignore The Google
Thanks for linking up to #AnythingGoes 🙂
Debbie
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