Autocorrect is perhaps the greatest weapon ever unleashed on mankind. One minute you’re having a pleasant conversation, and the next you are in a brawl of words with each side getting uglier and uglier. Screenshots are saved and sent around the world as each side tries to come out on top. Someone will end up on the bottom and the other ends up on top, but neither is ever a winner.
This is not one of those stories.
This story is so much worse. This is a talk-to-type story that ensures your human misery reaches the peak of the mountain before plummeting you back down to the ground as hard as it can. It’s the “I climbed Mt. Everest but gave up 2,000 feet from the top” story. It’s a story entirely caused by robots that used to be human, who now get smug satisfaction from watching the rest of us struggle.
I should have done my upgrade already.
It all started with a compliment aimed at the ever-popular Lola. On Instagram I am just the pusher of buttons, Lola is the star. It’s my job to respond to her admirers since she doesn’t have thumbs and Siri refuses to learn how to speak dog. I usually manage to do a good job of not embarrassing the brindle fur ball who calls the shots, but I was distracted for a moment and all hell broke loose. A brand new follower commented on Lola’s most recent headshot and I decided to thank him… in the most hysterical and awful way imaginable.
Thank you Sir Winston, you look like yo momma.
This proud British gentleman did not respond to our bizarre message. As I was hastily trying to smash an apology into my keyboard (I abandoned that talk type feature immediately!) I realized he had unfollowed us already.
Now, I don’t know how many people in the UK are familiar with American slang, but I guarantee the entire world knows that “yo momma” is an insult of the worst kind. No matter what language you speak, the moment someone’s mom is mentioned it’s goddamn go time. We fight to the death in defense of the precious ladies who pushed us into this world.
I’m sorry Sir Winston, I’m sure yo momma is amazing.
Editor’s Note: I deleted the offending message before realizing I had blogging gold. I’ll never, ever hit delete again!
Check out my Facebook page @ShankYouHeather and @ShankYouDesigns
I also tweet like a bird on Twitter @HeatherKeet
You can also find me on Instagram @ShankYouHeather and @ShankYouDesigns
Lola and I opened a store so we can sell our funniest blog sayings on cool stuff. Check it out at Shank You Very Much
Hahahaha oh no! It’s so easy to do though. #HumpDayLinky
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Hahahahahah brilliant. I bet Winston wondered what the bloody hell he’d stumbled into haha
#bigpinklink
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Poor, poor Winston.
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Haha, oh noooo! We’ve all been there, though for me it’s normally a friend who just laughs at me for it! Not a stranger, oh dear 🤣 #bigpinklink
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haha … blogging gold! love it! xx
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Sorry – #humpdaylinky
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Oh I do love a good fail – autocorrect ones have me howling with laughter sometimes! Poor old Winston, bet he didn’t know what to do with himself! #dreamteam
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I’m hoping he hugged his mother!
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So funny, off to change my clothes now! ❤ 😀 #BigPinkLink xo
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I don’t understand how my phone by now doesn’t understand that under no circumstances will I ever use the word “ducking”
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Hahahahahaha! Damn phones want to make us look ridiculous!
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Brilliant! Type talk and autocorrect can be your best friend but also you’re absolute worst enemy! Thank you for sharing with #bigpinklink
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I swear that autocorrect is out to get me – and you apparently! 😂 That made my cheeks hurt from all the laughing! Thanks for linking to #DreamTeam Heather x
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I don’t know if it makes me a good person, but I’m so glad I’m not the only person it messes with!
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Funny! I hate auto correct too. And it happens so quickly. 😜 #globalblogging
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Ha ha oops. If it makes you feel better I once signed off an email with retards rather than regards! Awkward! #HumpDayLinky
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That is definitely awkward!
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So easily done then the mess trying to sort out whoops #bloggerclubuk
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I never ended up getting it t sorted. Somewhere out there is a terrified person who may never follow a stranger on social media ever again 🤣
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I don’t use the talk to type app, though I’ve considered it because people always seem to want to text me while I’m driving. For now though I just make them wait, lol!
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oh oops, coming from #bloggerclubuk
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I use it for everything, but this is the first time it got awkward.
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awkward haha! auto-correct fails happen to us all at one time or another
Thanks for linking up to #BloggerClubUK 🙂
Debbie
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Oops! Can never trust these things! #Thatfridaylinky
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Haha! Oh dear Own goal there funny though Thanks for linking to the #THAT FRIDAY LINKY come back next week please
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I looooove reading people’s autocorrect messages. They are so funny.
#globalblogging
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Auto correct has gotten many a person by the short & curlies!!! But when it pulls down your pants when replying to a ‘Sir Winston’, now that’s funny!!!
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Eek! Whoops … #BloggerClubUK & #ThatFridayLinky 🙂
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I must say, I laughed about it after! That first few minutes though – it was pretty doubtful I was ever going to type on the Internet again
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Oh my.. I just got the serious giggles. YO MOMMA 🙂 … Yep… I think old Winston is a goner… #globalblogging
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