Last night I thought deep thoughts and almost broke my brain. Those who follow me on social media know by now that I’ve been struggling to sleep for the past few months. I’ve considered visiting my doctor and asking for some sleepy pills, but I don’t love to take medicine (especially ones that might turn me into a zombie, frightening my Lola unnecessarily) and I’m also sure it is entirely my fault that I can’t sleep. I’ve started keeping UK time for half the week in order to capitalize on the blog link ups I participate in. For all you non-bloggers, a link up is a weekly meeting place on the internet and bloggers promote the shit out of one another so we can hopefully get more readers.
It works. Hence the fact that I torture my body and brain 3 days a week, staying awake because London starts linking right at my bedtime. I briefly considered a move back to the East Coast just to give me a much smaller time lag, but Hubster thought that seemed extreme. Such a killjoy.
So, this 3 day a week party binge I go on really messes up the rest of the week in terms of falling asleep and being a normal human being. Deep thoughts start to play in my brain as I lie in bed and wonder what all my UK friends are doing online. Last night, I wondered what kind of fortunes I would write if I owned a fortune cookie company.
You would have to check. You know you’d be terrified if you didn’t.
Yes, except the villain. See, now you can easily identify the villains in life when they disdain your cape wearing skills. Helpful little fortune cookie, wasn’t he?!
This cookie is obviously an asshole. Eat him.
For those weirdos who eat the cookie before they read the fortune. You would never do that again!
Check out my Facebook page @ShankYouHeather and @ShankYouDesigns
I also tweet like a bird on Twitter @HeatherKeet
You can also find me on Instagram @ShankYouHeather and @ShankYouDesigns
Lola and I opened a store so we can sell our funniest blog sayings on cool stuff. Check it out at Shank You Very Much
This is your calling!
#globalblogging
LikeLiked by 1 person
Thank you!
LikeLike
Isn’t it funny what keeps us awake at night! I’ve done the all nighter for someone else’s timezone before too. I ALWAYS regret it the next day! Thanks for linking to #GlobalBlogging again!
LikeLiked by 1 person
Heather! You are funny AF!!! #dreamteam
LikeLiked by 1 person
Thank you! I really can never hear that phrase too often!
LikeLike
Haha I love this and I love your commitment to blogging- There is no way I’d stay up extra late to join in a linky!Thanks for staying up though and joining us for #BlogCrush xx
LikeLiked by 1 person
You are random and hilarious! Don’t try to fit us Australians into your schedule, or you’ll never sleep!
LikeLiked by 1 person
Oh Good Golly you make me giggle. Another great read. I love your work, don’t ever go changing!
#ThatFridayLinky
LikeLiked by 1 person
Thank you 😊
LikeLike
You should definitely write the fortunes, those are far better than anything I’ve ever had…last week I got ‘You are a genius’, that was literally it! Made the other half and I laugh though, couldn’t be further from the truth. So please, please start your fortune cookie business, we need you! #ThatFridayLinky
LikeLiked by 1 person
I really missed my calling in life!
LikeLike
I love your fortune cookie fortunes, they are much better than any I’ve seen before. I have stayed up to catch a linky only once. Is it really worth it?
LikeLiked by 1 person
It is for me. Every so often I test my numbers by linking up whenever I wake up and it’s convenient on my time zone – I always notice a huge drop in engagement and site visits. And I think it’s because once people link up, they don’t go back. So the earlier you are there, the more likely you are to get engagement.
LikeLike
Oh my goodness! That’s dedication to linky’s right there! Thanks for linking up to #ThatFridayLinky
LikeLiked by 1 person
I’ve given up on half the linkys I used to join for that reason. I was always the last one in and it started to become disheartening. I think you may be on to something with these fortunes though. brilliant #thatfridaylinky
LikeLiked by 1 person
I’ve dropped out of a few linkups that didn’t really get me any engagement. I’m really only interested in participating with the link ups that are about promoting everybody and not just the same people over and over or the host. I also don’t want to link with so many that I can’t share and tweet without feeling like a machine.
LikeLike
have to admire your dedication!! time zones are such a bitch XD
#thatfridaylinky
LikeLiked by 1 person
This is so funny and incredibly random love your posts, you are very dedicated that’s for sure Thanks for linking to the #THAT FRIDAY LINKY come back next week please
LikeLiked by 1 person
Ha ha love the one about hand washing.
#thatfridaylinky
LikeLiked by 1 person
And I thought I was dedicated setting my alarm for 6am!! Your a real trooper!! #dreamteam
LikeLiked by 1 person
Oh my life, you crack me up!!!! I love these, they’re genius, and totally need to be in fortune cookies!! That’s rubbish that you’re not sleeping though-you should just come and live in the uk then? As a fellow non sleeper, I know how rough crappy sleep is!! I’m pretty sure moving here is the only way. You could be in charge of uk fortune cookie writing, and rolling out Taco Bell to the entire country!
#bigpinklink
LikeLiked by 1 person
You just listed my life long plan and dream. To move to the UK, write some fortune cookies, and spread Taco Bell! Now I just need to get Hubster on board.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Haha my fave is ‘please recycle this scrap of paper’ too funny! I’ve had a huge break from linkies lately (except this one of course) but starting to get involved again. It’s a great way to get to know other bloggers, which is how I found you 🙂 Thanks so much for linking up to #dreamteam, I love that you’re always our first linker! xx
LikeLiked by 1 person
I love linkys, but there are weeks where I just decide to slow down because I don’t want to overwhelm myself and get burnt out. I have family flying in during the months of June, July, and August so I figure I’ll be taking a week off during each of those months to just refresh.
LikeLike
haha … whilst I really love the humour, maybe you should consider a visit to the dr. I’m sure Lola would be fine.
#candidcuddles
LikeLiked by 1 person
I did actually end up at the doctor and she told me she did not want to give me a prescription until we’ve attempted to regulate my sleeping without it. So I’m trying to avoid caffeine for the last half of each day, I don’t drink coffee everyday but I do love Coke zero and while it is sugar free, it has a ton of caffeine. The sleeping seems to be going a little easier this week with that tweak to my schedule.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Good to hear. I don’t drink any caffeine after 12.00 midday or my nights are even worse than they currently are.
LikeLiked by 1 person
#candidcuddles I say yes, make cookies and forget sleep – its for the weak 🙂
LikeLiked by 1 person
My brain came up with the few new fortune cookies while I was awake last night.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Ha, those would be brilliant fortunes, especially the last one! x #CandidCuddles
LikeLiked by 1 person
Thank you!
LikeLike
Brilliant! Great humour! #candidcuddles
LikeLiked by 1 person
Thank you!
LikeLike
Gosh you are linky obsessed 😉 #candidcuddles
LikeLiked by 1 person
My numbers have really taken off from all the linkys, so for now it is worth it.
LikeLike
Love the one about the dirty hands! Fabulous! #bigpinklink Now, I will think of you at every chinese food feast! A good thing indeed! M’wah!
LikeLiked by 1 person
As an insominiac I know how randome those middle of the night thoughts can be. Love this! #HumpDayLinky
LikeLiked by 1 person
My SIL is an insomniac and I feel for her and you, I hate not being able to sleep, hope you manage to get some long nights soon!
LikeLiked by 1 person
I did manage to get a couple of longer nights and it felt amazing!
LikeLiked by 1 person
This is so funny and I love the blog title. You sure are motivated keeping UK time to keep up with linkies! Thanks so much for linking up to #EatSleepBlogRT. Zoe and I have decided that it’s not quite working the way we’d like at the moment, so we’re stepping back to reassess and there won’t be any linky for the foreseeable. I hope you will still tag me in your polls though and I’ll see you around Twitter xx
LikeLiked by 1 person
I will always keep tagging you!!! The end of a linky is never the end of a friendship 😘
LikeLiked by 1 person
😍
LikeLiked by 1 person
you are so dedicated doing the linkies at bedtime,it is good to get on them early though x
#fortheloveofblog
LikeLiked by 1 person
Haha this is so funny. You really are dedicated to the linkies. They are great though aren’t they ☺ #fortheloveofBLOG
LikeLiked by 1 person
I have so much fun on them!
LikeLike
Wow you really are dedicated to Linkies. But I don’t want linkies to make you unwell for missing sleep. You can still participate on your timezone, and thanks for linking up at #fortheloveofBLOG. Claire x
LikeLiked by 1 person