I haven’t written a blog post in a few days. I’d like to say I was working very hard on them, but that would be a lie. I was playing internet based games and snacking on potato chips while my brain protested any sort of labor. I also watched a lot of SyFy original movies involving winter storms with ghosts and electrical wiring that wasn’t up to code. That last part might have actually been the HGTV home renovation shows that I was watching until Hubster made me turn it off so I would stop trying to convince him to remodel our bathrooms.

Apparently, I have to actually earn money if I want to spend it…

Last night I made some critical decisions regarding my future. I have finally, finally, decided on a topic for my book. Finally. The Hubster actually cracked a smile and felt a little ray of hope that his starving artist wife might have a direction in life. I know what you’re thinking, hasn’t she been writing a book for over a year now?! Yes, you are correct. However, I was just writing stuff down. Life stories, funny happenings,  and things that enraged me, causing me to become the person that I am today. It was 14 books all mixing into one incoherent jumble.

Apparently, that’s not acceptable to most readers.

I’ve picked out a few tentative titles and I’m going to put sticky notes all over my writing command center (otherwise known as two iMacs sitting side by side) that remind me to stick to the subject I have chosen. Which is already making me want to stick a pencil in my ear and swirl. Sticking to a subject is not something I excel at. Anyone who’s had a conversation with me knows it changes from the best toilet paper brand to alien life on Mars without even a breath in between.

I’m not going to tell you what the book’s subject is yet because I don’t want you to decide to not buy my book. In fact, I may just sell a book with no title and a black cover. It will have a random picture that will pique your curiosity so much that you have to buy it just to see what’s happening inside.

And look at that, not only do I have my book subject down firmly, I have my marketing plan in place!

A text box describing the Tragic Life of a Writer. It reads 'Wake up with brain bursting with ideas. Sit at computer and bang on keyboard. Stare at screen dejectedly while furiously hitting the delete button. Eat lunch at desk. Hold down delete button while chewing. Lay head on keyboard and take a nap. Resume keyboard banging after cleaning up drool. Repeat until book is finished or someone finds your mummified body.'

Check out my Facebook page @ShankYouHeather and @ShankYouDesigns

I also tweet like a bird on Twitter @HeatherKeet

You can also find me on Instagram @ShankYouHeather and @ShankYouDesigns

Lola and I opened a store so we can sell our funniest blog sayings on cool stuff. Check it out at Shank You Very Much

57 replies on “The (Tragic) Life of a Writer…”

  3. Ha ha, I can totally relate to this. I have a few first drafts hidden in a drawer that will never see the light of day. For me though the problem isn’t what to write about, it’s how to get it out of my head and on to the screen with it sounding like complete crap 😂 . I think you should do a life according to Heather kind of thing, then you really can write about all sorts of random stuff x
    #DreamTeam

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    1. Thank you so much! I’ve been blogging for over 3 years and it wasn’t until the last year or so that I started to see traction in readers. But I think it’s because I finally settled into my writing style and now I stick with it. I’m definitely working very hard on the book. Hubster has challenged me to write a chapter a week even if the chapter is not very good. I just have to get it written so I can keep the words flowing.

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  6. Hahaha, I’ll buy anything you wrote. It’s the eating of potato chips that sold me. I hear you about the writing process. Some days, I rather just binge watch Netflix than write anything and you know what, that’s OKAY! Thanks for sharing with #bigpinklink… Now you’ve got me curious, I’ll be stalking you.

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    1. I think deadlines are what I am missing! I have always been a procrastinator, I got straight A’s all throughout school and college by waiting until the final moment to put all my brain power into one thing that was due the next day. Sadly, I think the fact that I have been gifted with a brain that functions extremely well, also means that I will wake up one day and write my book in a six hour period. I just want that six hour period to be right now.

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        1. I just had a friend who has published two books with Simon and Schuster give me a deadline to send her my first five chapters. Deadlines always make me work better. She said the only reason she published two books is because her editor gave her an advance and she was required to meet her deadlines 😆

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  9. He he. Your post made me laugh – in a ‘OMG-she’s-so-right’ delirious kind of way. Because your ‘writer’s life’ description is exactly the same as mine.
    Good luck with the book (or is it 14 books???)
    #thatfridaylinky

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  11. I feel your pain, focus is a hard thing to find sometimes. Good luck with the book, if it’s half as good as your blogs it will be well worth a read!

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  12. Ha ha! Love itl I feel that way about blogging – I can’t imagine trying to write a book. I also have a lot of trouble keeping focus. I usually have to re-write my posts and break them into more than one so my readers don’t completely lose interest. I hope you have great success getting that book written!
    ~Jess
    #EatSleepBlogRT

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  14. You are a very funny and engaging writer and I’m sure you will create something worth reading – you just have to get your bum on that chair lovey! I’ll be cheering you on. Thanks for linking up to #EatSleepBlogRT. Hope you come back next time.

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  18. Oooh good luck with the book! It sounds like you’ve taken some big steps with confirming a theme (and the marketing strategy!). I think your “Life of a writer” meme is painfully true! Haha. The number of times and write and then delete things. Grrr! Haha. #blogcrush

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  19. Good luck with your book, I look forward to finding out the mystery subject! I get writers block too. I think my most creative time is 3am. Unfortunately this doesn’t work with the kids 6am starts to the day, so I’ll have to go on being below par in the creativity department! #blogcrush

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  21. I just love your blog, I love the way you write. I’m meant to be starting a book (not that anyone will read it nor will it ever get published) and I just can’t be arsed to start it. Full of ideas but no motivation. Good luck lovely – you’ll smash it #globalblogging

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    1. Thank you so much! Don’t feel bad, I’ve been attempting this book for year and a half, Hubster is convinced that I should’ve written four books by now but it is very difficult.

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  22. Pingback: #BlogCrush Week 9: 14th April 2017 — Lucy At Home

  26. Ha, this was awesome and made me laugh. I so see myself in this, do you really think someone will find my body, I keep imaging feral ants dragging me off to present as a treasure to their Queen.
    Dropped by from #BlogCrush but always glad to get good funny.
    Best of luck with the book, can’t wait to read it.
    Hope this weekend treats you kindly; have you tried movies with killer sharks in the snow, air, or nuclear ones? Lots of inspiration there 😉

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  30. ‘Starving artist wife’, ‘electrical code’ ‘that isn’t acceptable to most readers’, ‘best toilet paper brand…alien life’, the book’s cover. OMG the whole thing…this is my FAVE post of yours so far. I literally laughed out loud. The book has a tough act to follow lol. Thanks for joining #candidcuddles

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  32. Pingback: Quotes Linky: Candid Cuddles 82 - AbsolutelyPrabulous

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