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Well, I failed. I was going to blog for 30 straight days but on the very first Saturday of the challenge I just lost it. I dropped the ball…and picked up a taco. That’s right, I didn’t hit my goal because I was eating tacos with friends and playing Yahtzee over the weekend. I didn’t actually manage to get a Yahtzee so the night was a bit of a disappointment.

I know it doesn’t seem like that should take up an entire weekend, but it did…I may have also watched a lot of Netflix and eaten Taco Bell while wearing my pajamas and bingeing on Bravo’s TV app.

I’ve decided to turn attention away from my inability to set a goal and keep it (cough Taco Bell and blogging goals cough) by awarding another person with the highest achievement you can get on this blog.

Worst Person Award

This award belongs to the guy at Taco Bell. Let me clarify since I went there twice since my last blog post. (Don’t judge me, the cheese is addictive!) The award goes to Sunday Taco Bell guy. Yeah, you, Sunday Taco Bell guy! You destroyed all my hopes and dreams. I went to my Utopia, the Taco Bell, and I left feeling bitterly disappointed and completely disillusioned with my life. Like the moment I found out Santa Clause was a sham and Mickey Mouse was just a dude in a costume, you too were a false promise that never materialized. You, Sunday Taco Bell guy, were the final nail in my childhood coffin. Life is now just a series of real and non-magical events, never again can I return to Utopia.

What happened, you ask? Well I’ll try to tell you my dear readers, but I’m still pretty fragile. Forgive any misspellings as I weep over my keyboard at the travesty that unfolded.

I ordered two burritos and only got one. *cue uncontrollable sobbing at keyboard* Because only the drive thru was open at that time of night, I had to go around the line again when I realized my burrito was missing. As I sat silently sobbing, in the longest drive thru line I had seen in recent years, I realized my other food was getting cold. I could not bring myself to commit the fat kid crime of eating food while sitting in a drive thru to order more food. It was an invisible boundary I knew I could not cross because I would forever be that girl.

That girl who eats her food while driving, instead of returning home and eating it while watching television. That girl who gets out of her car with food stains on her clothing because she thought she could successfully eat while driving. That girl who causes car accidents because the nacho cheese makes her steering wheel slippery. No, no, I couldn’t become that girl!

So I just drove home, one burrito short of happiness.

I’ve already forgiven you though, Taco Bell man. I called the restaurant and they’re going to give me two free burritos on my next visit. Which is one more burrito than you forgot to put in my bag. You messed up, but I now get another trip to Taco Bell without spending my airplane money…which is fantastic since I used the last of my gift cards on that burrito disaster. So while I can never return to my previous utopia, and Santa Clause and Mickey Mouse are still fictional, I can at least enjoy two delicious burritos…as long as you put them both in the bag this time!

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Lola and I opened a store so we can sell our funniest blog sayings on cool stuff. Check it out at Shank You Very Much or click to see a special collection below: