It’s a new year and I’ve decided it’s time for a New Me. A New Me who writes more blog posts each week. A New Me that tries to find the good in humanity. A New Me who uses less sarcasm since that seems to cut some people and they find themselves a sad panda for days after reading. A New Me that eats less cheese and maybe a few more salads to promote some weight loss.
And now that I’ve written all those ideas down, I have decided they are crap. Yep, I’ve given up on resolutions for a New Me so you’ll just get more of the same me. More blogs where I make fun of humanity for being ridiculous. More sarcasm because it makes the world more lighthearted. And more cheese, just because it is delicious. Now for some updates on what I’ve been doing while not sitting in front of my blog.
I went to Hawai’i to visit my family and I gifted them with the plague. That’s right, I brought some terrible germs with me on the plane and then one by one the family members fell around me. I would say it was glorious but it really put a crimp in our eating out, which is one of my top things to do when I go home for a visit. I was so sick that I couldn’t even stay awake for New Year’s Eve, which is the BEST holiday in Hawai’i. We shoot illegal fireworks, throw poppers at each other, and generally try to burn down the state in just one night. And I missed it. My childhood friends kept calling and pestering me to wake up, but I slept blissfully with my nieces as the fever raged through our bodies.
I am still Taco Bell free. For those of you who are new, I am trying to save up money for a plane ticket to see my friends on the East Coast. The Hubster has been less than supportive of this since I am a starving artist who makes very little money as a writer while he works to support my blogging dreams. Hubster said he would have more sympathy for me if my Taco Bell habit didn’t cost us $100 each month. So the challenge was extended to give it up and use that money for a plane ticket. And I have made it so very far without Taco Bell, but the commercials being aimed at me all over the internet are making it difficult to resist the call of the nacho cheese. And it doesn’t help that I keep googling pictures of my delicious cheesey goodness.
I had to get a new monster graphic because the old monster was about to start killing in the name of cheese.
I’ve also come up with a new blog series that I’ll be featuring and I think you’re going to like it. I’ll be using this award to publicly call out those who have slighted me, delivered an injustice where I am concerned, ate the last of the macaroni and cheese, or looked at me in a funny way. I’ve already targeted two people to receive the award so I’d be very careful around me if I were you.
I can already feel people avoiding me.
Now, I’m off to finish the cartoon I’ve been working on for you all. It’s a very rudimentary drawing but it’s my first one and unless you want to receive the yellow award, you’ll compliment it.
Editor’s Note: This blog may contain sarcasm. A lot of sarcasm. Try not to take life too seriously as we inaugurate the next President of the United States who may or may not have an addiction to Twitter. Also try to smile more, it really throws cranky people off their game and it burns 0.001 calories each time you do it. So if you smile 3.5 million times then you’ll have lost one pound. (I don’t know if that smiling thing is true but by posting it on the internet I think it just kind of makes it true, right?!)
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Lola and I opened a store so we can hopefully cover the world in her Bulldog face, check it out at Shank You Very Much