Everyone has the key to a successful marriage. Whether or not that key actually works for a marriage is another story. My favorite “key to marriage” trope is compromise. Everyone touts compromise like it’s the second coming of Christ and your marriage will be peaceful and harmonious if you participate in it.
That’s not exactly true, is it?
Let’s face it, compromise is a big pile of loser mixed with the bitter taste of failure. It ends in a bowl full of “no one wants it” and no one really feels like a winner. You just feel like not as big a loser.
I would like to give you the flip side to this advice. Fight. Fight hard, fight long, fight loudly. Someone will come out the winner, someone will come out the loser. But at least you won’t be sitting on the couch at the end wondering why you both feel like losers.
It’s like those sports kids play where there is no scoring – everyone is a winner and no one is a winner. Who wants to feel like that?!
Writer’s note: In the interest of not seeing every single one of my friends’ marriages end in divorce, I think it should be said that this post contains a lot of sarcasm. Hubster and I do compromise…we take turns winning the fight.
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I feel like compromise ends up feeling like losing when only one person compromises.
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Everyone’s a loser, it just feels awful. There is no way both sides of the compromise will feel good, at least not in my experience. Someone always gets just a little bit more of what they wanted!
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I hate compromise like you said no one comes out the winner. Great analogy of the non competitive sports day. Waste of time. Thank you for linking up to #EatSleepBlogRT 🌟
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I’m dreading when my nieces and nephew start playing sports, but I guess I’ll go and cheer them on because it’s my job!
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Wow, this is a great post. I’m not married but in a long term relationship so can relate to this, even without the wedding ring and bit of paper. You’re right, I’ve never looked at it like this before. I’m gonna start becoming more stubborn. #eatsleepblogrt
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Just make sure you take turns winning or someone’s gonna be very unhappy!
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Now I’m quite competitive, but we definitely see the benefits of compromise! Afraid I have to disagree. I don’t feel like I’ve ‘lost’ when I don’t get my own way; I’d prefer to come to a solution which we are both happy with. That being said, we’re generally in agreement about most things which probably helps! Interesting to read your point of view though! 🙂
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You’re a better woman than I, compromise is the one thing I really struggle with in marriage. But I keep trying!
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#eatlseepblogrt this is the smallest post I’ve ever read. I agree picking your battle is my daily mantra to life, let alone the Mr 🙂
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You’ve made a good point here. With us is so that we take turns, soometimes it’s my way sometimes his. Sometimes we fight sometimes it’s just an agreement. I don’t push my head trough the wall to get my way- it’s a waist of time for me. Usually in the end he sees that I was right and he wasn’t;))))) I like fights – not just for the win but also for something better;) #DreamTeam
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This is interesting as we’ve been talking about it recently – we used to do everything together at the weekend, but now we take turns and each have time to ourselves. It seems to be working and our daughter loves the one on one time too. Thanks for linking up to #dreamteam x
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It’s nice to take turns, I’m glad your daughter loves the one on one time
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