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A true fat kid has experienced all 10 of these things. A chubby kid scores a 5 out of 10. A skinny kid will deny even knowing what cake is.

  1. Eating cake over a sink means there are no calories…and it is much more delicious.
  2. Taco Bell tastes so much better at 1 a.m.
  3. Ordering two meals so you can have a “buffet” is a real thing.
  4. Leftovers rarely make it to the next day; that 1 a.m. mealtime is calling our names. (See #2.)
  5. Pants shrink in the closet.
  6. Pants shrink in the dryer.
  7. Pants shrink just by being pants.
  8. There is never enough cheese on a pizza. More cheese please, sir!
  9. Walking around the house for 10 minutes is exercise for that cookie on the counter that will be eaten.
  10. Even within the same brand of clothing, you will have a variety of different sized pants. We don’t know why. We blame it on cake delirium suffered by the clothing manufacturers.

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