A few days ago Lola and I suffered a personal crisis. The internet went out, leaving us without an Apple TV or Netflix to watch. No computers to putter around on. No games to play on our phone since our signal is so weak without the internet boosting it.

The horror, the horror!

So we sought out the best therapy that money can buy at 11pm… Taco Bell. Until I realized that the only Taco Bell I knew of was the one at my old house and there was no way to drive there before it closed. Sadly, after living in my new area for 2 months I still hadn’t seen another Taco Bell.

The therapy idea was really backfiring.

Lola and I load up into the car in our pajamas and give the car’s navigation a chance to redeem itself after its previous failure to find a Subway. A Subway that is on the same road as my house. No turns required and yet, she made me take three turns. Stupid non-Siri.

The car says there is a Taco Bell within 3 miles.

Well, where the hell are they hiding this thing?! I’ve driven all around a three-mile radius and never once saw my pink/purple bell of glory announcing nacho cheese sold in tiny cups.

Off we went on rural back roads that I didn’t even know existed. Luckily, I had a full tank of gas and the cell reception was good enough for 911 to get a trace location should some bandit run us off the road. Maybe.

The car GPS was hopelessly lost within minutes and while I had street names, it didn’t match up with when she told me to turn. I was on my own, in the dark, and couldn’t see street signs thanks to the trees. And we were indeed taken off the road… by a police officer.

Apparently I was weaving drunkenly.

After a few minutes of checking me for warrants the officer allowed me to continue on my spiritual journey for a cheesy waterfall and even threw in some directions. He wished me luck on finding it open that late and even tried to console me that the Jack in the Box next door would definitely be open should I find nacho cheese to be unavailable for a consultation. As if Jack in the Box provides any therapeutic cheesy goodness that late at night. But there, in the dark, a beacon of hope.

Purple and pink and awesome, the Taco Bell logo lit the night sky.

On my way home on the back road from hell, I stumbled across the police officer as he was standing next to another driver’s window. I tipped my tiny cup of nacho cheese glory at him as I rolled slowly by – he laughed so hard I thought he was going to hurt himself.

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58 replies on “The best therapy money can buy…”

  3. Pingback: Are you on the list… | Shank You Very Much

  5. I admire your tenacity in your quest for snackage in the face of such adversity. Brilliant idea to lure in the local law enforcement to guide you on your quest *salutes* 😂

    Thanks for hosting lovely! Cake for you. Bacon for Lola x #momsterslink

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    1. Thank you! I actually rewarded myself with a slice of cake after I read this comment. Lola didn’t get any bacon though, I’m thinking she’s going to get a little bit with her lunch though since I’m basically ignoring her while I play hostess to the #momsterslink (i’m having the best time! I hope she lets me do it again.)

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    1. Many people argue that Taco Bell is probably the worst of all the Mexican fast food. Those people would be wrong. It is delicious but it isn’t really Mexican food, so as long as you go into it knowing that, you’ll enjoy the food.

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    1. I’ve run into him two more times and both of those times have been while I was on a Taco Bell run. The man is pretty much convinced that I only leave my house when I’m on my way to Taco Bell. I may have to start ordering an extra item just so I can give it to him when I inevitably see him on my journey.

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  8. I think I might be the only person living in the US that has never tried Taco Bell! It just doesn’t appeal, isn’t it all crispy tacos that are going to explode in your lap and leave you with sludge on your pants? I shouldn’t criticize until I try it I suppose, clearly the police officer agrees its totally awesome. Enjoyed the read. #momsterlink

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    1. There are definitely a lot of items that you can’t eat while driving. But they really started to move into items that are portable and wrapped in a soft tortilla so that you can eat them while carrying on with your hectic day. I have never attempted to eat Taco Bell in the car, at least not while I am actively driving. Thanks for reading!!

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  17. Oh wow! Yes, Taco Bell is definitely therapy, LOL! I had Taco Bell twice yesterday because of the long day I had. I’m glad you found a Taco Bell and got to have your cheesy goodness. Thanks so much for hosting #momsterlink this week

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  21. We’re usually on the same page, but for once I’m going to have to strongly disagree with you. Taco Bell is like that ex that you keep going back to, thinking that this time it will be better. Instead its just a terrible mess that you regret even more the following morning #momsterlink

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  25. Oh my goodness, how have I never found you on the interwebs before? I nearly peed myself reading your cheesy late night jaunt. I’m so happy you found your cheesy holy grail, but am even happier you found an understanding officer to lead you “to the border”! Now if you’ll excuse me, I have a sudden, inexplicable hankering for nacho cheese to fulfill…

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