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By now, everyone in the world should know that the Ashley Madison website has been breached and all member information has been stolen. You should have also heard that the information has been leaking to the media in droves.

So why are these stupid “celebrities” trying to lie?!?! Take that housewife from New York, her husband said it wasn’t true. Someone used his address, and email account, and credit card, and name, and picture…all without his knowledge. Hmmmm. Then one day later he is changing his tune and saying it was all a silly game with friends and he had an account but didn’t use it.

Yet he claimed, just yesterday, that the thousands of dollars charged to his credit card was fraudulent.

Thousands of dollars and yet you never once met anyone on the website?

I don’t know about you, but if this were my business partner, I’d be worried he’s either dumb as shit for spending that much money for nothing or he’s dumb as shit for not realizing someone was stealing so much money. Either way you cut the cookie, that guy is dumb as shit. Make him buy you out of eBoost and run for it!

Kristen, you should do the same. Who knows what STDs that man is bringing home to you.

Now here’s the really mind-boggling part of the whole website data breach saga…

Why the fuck aren’t these cheaters just admitting it to their wives in private?!?!? You know they aren’t confessing or else the stories wouldn’t start off as lies only to have it change later. I have to say, if that were my husband…

You know what, that’s too graphic. I’m going to leave that sentence unfinished.

Lesson to all you putzes trying to have an affair using digital means, all of it is one step away from your wife knowing. Just go home to her and give her some roses. See how quickly she gushes over you so you don’t have to pay to find someone to gush over your balding, pot-bellied, disgusting little self.

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