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There is no awesomely (it’s a word, I decreed it) funny blog post today. I’m frankly too exhausted by my daycare to even contemplate my lunch, which I know I will regret later.

I started a new Little last week and then had the unfortunate timing to come down with the zombie virus in the same week. So the Little was just starting to like me when I disappeared for four days. And then she got the zombie virus and missed even more days of daycare.

Upon returning to daycare today, Little decided that the zombie must have won and I was no longer a person who should be near her. She was cool with me sitting on the far side of the playroom while she tooled around with the other Littles. She was cool with me changing diapers. She was even cool with me feeding bottles.

She was not, however, cool with me doing anything remotely related to taking care of her. Feeding was out of the question. Changing diapers was completely unthinkable. And if I even thought about carrying her, I could walk the fuck into an ocean and not return.

And she told me to say hi to Jaws when I see him.

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