Buckle up because we are going there.

I was recently flying home from Hawai’i, and since I’m a terrible flyer I booked myself into first class. Unlimited amounts of free booze definitely make you less afraid of crashing into the ocean and being eaten by Jaws.

As I boarded the flight, I passed by the first row and sat down in the second row. Directly in front of me was a mother with her seven-year-old daughter. Across the aisle is what I’m assuming is the father and a little dude who was probably two.

I didn’t sweat any meltdowns because I’ve ridden in first class with children before. Frankly, I don’t understand why more parents don’t save themselves the agony of having to peel their face off in frustration, and just fly in first class with their darlings.

You can’t put a price on your face.

Think about it. The kid gets an unlimited amount of new cartoons on the in-flight screen. They can have as much juice and snacks as they like. The food comes out hot and they never have to wait for the potty. It can be a great thing, especially when you factor in that kid legs can’t reach the back of seats in first class.

Take that all you kicky bastards under 10!

Not to mention the greatest benefit of all – the adults are being plied with unlimited free liquor so we’re in a great mood should there be an unavoidable meltdown.

About halfway through the flight I started to change my mind about how ok this was going to turn out. Dad was sitting next to little dude and was checked out watching his own shows. Little dude’s head kept listing forward and I could tell he was getting sleepy. He looked at dad and asked to sit with his mom. Mom held out her arms, when all of a sudden –

Dad In Charge emerged.

The Dad In Charge is the guy who never disciplines his child, or pays any attention to said child, until child wants something that Dad In Charge is not in the mood to grant. This particular Dad In Charge was offended that his child wanted Mommy and not the awesome Dad In Charge sitting next to him.

Little dude had a two-hour meltdown with screaming and kicking and punching.

Mom begged to sit next to little dude. The flight attendants begged Dad In Charge to trade seats with mom. They valiantly tried to bribe the kid while Dad In Charge waved off all help and said, “he needs to learn.” Even the other kid offered to trade her brother seats so he could have his Mommy. But Dad In Charge wouldn’t have it. He was the Dad In Charge and the kid was going to learn it.

I had my headphones at full volume and I could still hear the misery of the little dude. Thankfully the flight attendants realized that if Dad In Charge wouldn’t let them make the kid happy, they could give the rest of us more booze.

Those flight attendants should be given an award.

I had hatched a plan with my seat mate – a stranger prior to our bonding over the trauma we were suffering at the hands of Dad In Charge. We were going to hold the Dad In Charge down on the ground and beat him with twisty straws and plastic leis until he let the kid sit with his Mommy. Luckily the free booze showed up in front of us again and we decided the vodka needed all of our attention.

So to sum it up, kids should be allowed in first class but Dad In Charge obviously belongs in the back, sitting by themselves. This will allow all the little dudes to enjoy the unlimited cookies and juice without a Dad In Charge wrecking their lives!

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33 replies on “Should kids be allowed in First Class…”

  1. I don’t know much about “dad in charge.” In my world it’s “DAD’s LAW” and Dad’s Law is unfair, inflexible and most certainly disregards passengers who can afford first class travel. If I am ever in that situation, I will be employing rule 5346, sub section 23…. Request is formally denied, however you have the right to go nuts.

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  3. Absolutely they should I agree although I’m not sure I could afford it two many kids lol I’m petrified of flying but somehow manage when I have to fab post #globalblogging

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  4. I understand that kids cant always have what they want and they have to learn to deal with it but in this situation where everyone around is suffering it would obviously be better to just let him swap seat…silly dad! Thanks for linking up 🙂 #globalblogging

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    1. I just couldn’t understand why the dad had to make this a point of contention. The kid was a delight, he was being great and all he wanted to do was sleep against his mom. Why dad thought that was the end of the world, I will never know. Thank you for reading!

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  5. My son is really good when whe flying but he is not even 1yo will see how he will behave when he will be older maybe I will think about 1st claas😊 thanks for linking up to #globalblogging

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    1. I actually think it’s a very good alternative if parents can afford it. The comfort level is increased so much that it eases the tension. I wish airlines would stop trying to cram more and more seats in the each flight because it’s just making the problem worse.

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  6. The dad was clearly an idiot. All of that clearly could have been avoided if he’d just let the little guy, who he clearly didnt want to pay any attention anyway, sit with his mummy. At least you guys had alcohol. Bless first class and the stewards that serve in it 😉 Emily #GlobalBlogging

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    1. I think I felt the worst for the mom. Kids are pretty resilient, but what is wrong with that lady that you are willing to put up with a man who acts like that?! She needs a couple of self help books!

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  7. Why would anyone choose to sit through a meltdown that can be avoided without breaking any rules or bribery?! Dad was an idiot! You should have kicked the back of his chair. A lot.

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  8. I am SO happy my husband isn’t a “dad in charge”, lordy, what parent would actively allow a 2 hour tantrum… Just to “learn” a lesson. i would be swopping chairs every 2 minutes just for some peace and quiet! Especially if I paid for a first class ticket! #globalblogging

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    1. I ran a daycare for 13 years so I definitely understand the need to set boundaries and all that- this guy was just a jerk. There was no need not to accommodate his son who made a very reasonable request. I just wanted to hug that little guy and punch his father.

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  9. What a nightmare. I am afraid I would have probably intervened and told the dad in charge to sort it out pronto so that I could get on with enjoying my relaxing flight in first class in comfort. Well done you for keeping quiet. #GlobalBlogging

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  10. What a nightmare! I think if I was going first class it would be just me in there and my husband and the kids in the back! If I’m going first class, I want to enjoy it!! #dreamteam

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  11. I believe the technical term for that father is “utter pillock”. Your patience does you credit. I think I would have said something to him – and not particularly politely either. Sounds like he’s an idiot both on and off a plane though.

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    1. I love your term for the father! I really held my tongue because I was afraid saying something to the father would make it worse for the wife and kids, not to mention the flight crew. But it was extremely difficult.

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  12. Ugghh…..some parents are just twats!! I admire youre patience, its a good thing (shame?) the vodka prevented you carrying out your plan 😆

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  13. Pingback: Global Blogging #21 - One Messy Mama

  14. I like how you think here. 🙂 Parents, flights are not the time for teaching moments. As the mom, I would have totally overruled the dad anyway. There’s something way wrong with that parenting dynamic. Did someone check her cocktail napkins for an SOS?

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    1. Honestly, I wondered about that dynamic. I bit my tongue because I could tell she look like she wanted the earth to swallow her up. It seemed like she knew if she opened her mouth the father would go ballistic and I didn’t want to make it worse

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  16. I think, amidst this gross negligent dad-fail moment, you all should have taken said dad and locked him inside the teeny, weeny excuse for a potty. Sounds like no amount of booze would cure this dilemma. I would have needed, the pint of MINT CHIP. xoxo #BigPinkLink

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  17. How right you are! Stick him right at the end of the plane, or in the loo next time, so that we can’t hear Dad In Charge whinge. It’s not the age, it should be the maturity which counts. Glad the booze helped. Thanks for sharing with #bigpinklink

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