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I’m starting a new Little this week and I’m one part excited and one part scared. Scared shitless to be exact. I’m worried the newbie won’t take a bottle or sleep. I’ve got a great thing going with the two older Littles and this newbie might just throw us into chaos.

I’ve done a few things to ensure that the newbie will settle into a daycare routine. One, I’ve prepared the Lola nanny. Lola is ready to lie down next to the newbie and keep her warm while the big ones play. Lola is thrilled with the task, the big ones can move and she dislikes that feature in a Little.

There is nothing better than a Little who stays where you put them. Especially when you’re running to the potty. I can’t count the number of times I have to hold it because the Littles will completely break down into anarchy at my leaving.

I’ve also decided to establish a newbie napping room. It’s going to be great. It’s dark, the temperature is perfect, and best of all, it’s quiet. She’ll be able to nap in peace while the other Littles hurl their toys with glee and shriek endlessly.

I have no plan in place for a newbie who can’t get her boob juice straight from the source. There is never a plan for this contingency. I basically do a few leg stretches, prepare my ears by taking out the hearing aids, and if all else fails, implement a Hail Mary pass.

It never works, but the small hope that it will work one day, keeps me in this profession. That and my love for Twinkies that the Hubster won’t purchase for me unless I bring in my own income.

Apparently Twinkies are an “extra” we have to give up if I don’t work.

Check out my Facebook page @ShankYouVeryMuch 

I also tweet like a bird on Twitter @HeatherKeet

You can also find me on Instagram @shankyouheather 

Lola and I opened a store so we can hopefully cover the world in her Bulldog face, check it out at Shank You Very Much