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This weekend I binge watched Bravo reality tv that had been stacking up on my DVR. I watched what must have been hours of plastic people, fake smiling with their plastic faces, eating lunch with other plastics who they hate.

It was awful.

Oh who the hell am I kidding?!?! I reveled in every minute of it. At one point I even started trying to diagnose what childhood traumas the person onscreen had suffered that may have caused them to react as they did. And then I started to wonder why, with all this Real Housewife crap on tv, there is no Real Military Wives. I would be amazing in that. I’ve even got my tagline for the opening credits of Navy Wives.

“That’s what this friendship is based on: a carefully crafted exterior full of lies.”

I’m guessing I’ll end up being the villain on my franchise.

Now, I’m off to go pitch this idea to Andy Cohen, sound off in the comments section on what your tagline would be.