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Think about it. God gifts you with a pregnancy and the kid is his son, Jesus. How would you act?!?! I for one, would be hell-bent on making sure I was as nice as shit to that kid. That kid could punch me in my face and I’d still be nice about it.

Scenario with Baby Jesus:

Mary: Hi Baby Jesus, did you nap well today?

Baby Jesus: No! (punches Mary)

Mary: Oh Baby Jesus, you are so cute. Now how about we go down to the market and buy you a cute little swaddling cloth to wear? Maybe one with lambs on them since you’re such a cute, good little baby.

Scenario with Not Baby Jesus:

Mary: Hi Baby Jesus, did you nap well today?

Baby Jesus: No! (punches Mary)

Mary: What the fuck?!?! Not Baby Jesus, you are pushing mommy’s last nerve! Don’t MAKE me pull this mule over!!!

Awake at night


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