Actually, I won two but I was trying to sound humble in my title. Humbleness, the very essence of my personality.
Now that you’re done laughing I can actually get to the point of this blog post.
To be truthful, some people will say these awards are basically chain blogging and I didn’t have to do anything other than post a blog to earn this award. There’s also no award committee, just a fellow blogger who likes my shit. Frankly, I don’t care what people say because awards are few and far between in the blogging world and I’m just thrilled people actually read the stuff I write. So here we go…
I was nominated for the Real Neat Blog Award and the Versatile Blogger Award by MamaLisa who spends her time trying to not kill or be killed in the deadly game of raising four children in New York. Hats off to her for surviving and nominating me for these awards!! Here’s a link to her post about the time chocolate covered pretzels won a battle of willpower.
And these are the rules: I’ve gone ahead and added commentary to them in the bold font. Because I can.
1) Put the award logo on your blog. Make me.
2) Answer 7 questions asked by the person who nominated you. These can’t be used in court against me, right?!?!
3) Thank the people who nominated you, linking to their blogs. Already happened, right around that part where I congratulated you on not dying in the warfare that children can be. You may have missed it if the kids were lobbing Twinkie grenades at you.
4) Nominate any number of bloggers you like, linking to their blogs. That will be at the end of this post. If I put them here then you might get distracted and not finish reading my post and then I’ll have to put you on the Shank List.
5) Let them know you nominated them (by commenting on their blog etc.) Can I use coded messages to tell them that they are nominated? Like “Twinkies are on fire and I need your help, click here!!!”
Now it’s time for me to fess up and answer those deeply pertinent questions about my life.
- What is the best thing you love about where you are from?
Spam. You never get strange looks in Hawaii when you debate with heartfelt passion which Spam flavor is the best. Here on the mainland, people just try not to gag and walk away. I miss you Hawai’i and I know you miss me. And even if you didn’t, you’d be obligated to say Aloha when I step off the plane anyways, so I win.
- Where did your blog name come from?
Jared Hofer gets credit for the final name. There may have been some booze involved. I am infamous (well, I think I am) in the Navy circles for the Great Shank Slip Up– I was standing in a room full of people in an official capacity as Treasurer (fancy, I know) when I made a crack about shanking people with Coke bottles. And there, just in the corner of the room, was the Captain and the Executive Officer of the Hubster’s submarine, watching me crack jokes about their sailors. Thankfully, they love my wit and the word shank took on a life of its own.
- What is your dream job?
Writing. (I feel like this is a trick question.)
- Favorite book?
Wow. Way to make my life difficult. If you had a gun to my head and I could only blurt out one, it would be…
Nope, couldn’t do it. Squeeze the trigger I guess.
- Which single person has inspired you the most in life?
Whaaaa? Are you trying to get me shanked?! I’m putting Lola. I have to sleep next to her at night and she’s a pretty vindictive English Bulldog. Do you remember the Twinkie grenades? She’s still got a stockpile and she’s North Korea, just waiting for an excuse.
- What do you love most about yourself?
My sarcasm. And my Spam consumption. It’s fucking delicious.
- Dream Vacation?
Scotland. I wrote a whole blog about how I need to get there and open a pub and stockpile Twinkie grenades. And pet the long hair coos.
My nominees are:
Fisticuffs And Shenanigans, I’ve taken the liberty of linking a post I laughed at.
Pixie noms, because who doesn’t love to stare at food pictures when they are bored and hungry?!
And here’s the seven questions my nominees have to answer:
- If you could only eat one food forever, what would it be?
- How would you finish the statement: When in Rome….?
- If the U.S. was on the brink of a nuclear war, and the only way the conflict could be averted was if you agreed to sleep with the enemy’s leader, what would you do? (Thank you Seinfeld!)
- What would you name your male French Bulldog?
- How many times do you hit the snooze alarm?
- What is the first thing you would buy if you won a 10 million dollar lottery?
- What will you do if Lola takes over the world one day?
You can also find me on Instagram @shankyouheather
Lola and I opened a store so we can hopefully cover the world in her Bulldog face, check it out at Shank You Very Much