Last night I was finishing up the last of my Christmas newsletters and began to sweat. As I lifted an envelope to my mouth I realized I was probably licking toxic glue. I ignored my paranoid side and kept sealing envelopes.
Ten minutes later, I was still sweating. Paranoia won out and I went to google the brand of envelopes I had bought this year. Just to make sure no one had reported signs of illness while sealing their envelopes.
I decided to take a break and, if I’m being honest, I considered the bottle of Elmer’s glue that Constanza told Susan to use. I decided to watch TV instead and pulled up my Seinfeld collection to randomly pick out an episode.
And I just so happened to pick The Invitations episode.
You know, the one where Susan died after licking toxic envelopes that George picked out?!!!
Yeah, I sealed all the remaining envelopes with a wet sponge and called it a night.
Check out my Facebook page @ShankYouHeather
I also tweet like a bird on Twitter @HeatherKeet
You can also find me on Instagram @ShankYouHeather
Lola and I opened a store so we can sell our funniest blog sayings on cool stuff. Check it out at Shank You Very Much