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Some kids just have the worst luck in life. They are born to parents who put absolutely no thought into naming them. On the flip side, they are born to parents who spend too much time coming up with a unique name; which ultimately is used to torment the child in their teen years. And there’s that third style of naming kids.

The parents who purposefully misspell a word that has absolutely no business being a child’s name and call it a day.

Poor, poor Little. You better take up interest in karate and your school’s track team. That way you have your ass covered for all those scrapes you’ll find yourself in as you scream the spelling at people. People who, I may add, are knowingly mocking you by pretending they can’t get it right.

Now, I know you are all dying to know the name. I’m not going to tell you. I refuse to be the first person to make fun of a newborn.


At least publicly. Privately, I’ve been laughing for hours.

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