Today is a war zone in The Land of the Giant. I put a baby to sleep this morning and when I did one of my routine checks on the sleeping Little, I found a nightmare.
A poop nightmare.
So there’s the Tiny Little, just wailing away as I wake her up to lift her out. I’ve got my hazmat suit on (it’s an apron in case you were wondering) and I am gloved up and ready to go.
As I peel this onesie off the Little it drips poop.
Fuck it, I quit.
Okay, obviously I can’t quit while the Little is a mess, but as soon as I’m done cleaning her up I am officially closing my daycare.
I fight the Little to give her a baby wipe bath, sadly a real bath is out of the question in daycare. I get her loaded into a spare crib. A spare crib that will eventually smell like poop since the baby is oozing poop smell through her skin.
It’s time to tackle the crib which was defiled. And it’s not pretty. God, please take my sense of smell, this shit is literally burning my eyes.
I decide to clean it up as best I can and as soon as daycare is done for the day I will rip it apart and hose it down. With bleach. And acid. And maybe some heavily concentrated odor neutralizer.
It might work.
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