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A lot of people have been wondering why I haven’t been posting daily. I honestly didn’t know you guys missed me so much when you don’t get your sarcasm and shank fix each day. I was posting every day for a while and I’m trying to get back to that.

No, I am not running out of material. Quite frankly, there’s too much material in my brain and sometimes it is hard to get it out. The moment I declared that I was actually trying to put my book together I freaked out. I am now a drooling mess that is trying to be coherent.

I’m not really sure I am.

I’m also suffering greatly right now in The Land of the Giant. One of the Littles hates my guts, to put it kindly. I talk, he screams. I laugh, he screams harder. I play with the other two Littles and he feels like he needs to call in the Marines to save himself and his friends from my clutches.

It’s been pretty fucking miserable for the past 77 days. I’m deaf, more so than the normal amount I was prior to enrolling this Little. I can’t even wear my hearing aids! I mean, who wants to hear screaming at a higher volume?!?! The other two Littles are bat shit crazy over all the commotion.

The Little who hates me has a hoarse throat that no liquid will ever parch.

So the Little is moving into a new daycare this week and then I am hoping I can find the humor in the whole situation. Sometimes, right when I find the humor, I laugh out loud and the cycle of screaming starts all over again.

Witty- kill oxygen

And then I shank myself in the ears and try to bleed out.

Check out my Facebook page @ShankYouVeryMuch 

I also tweet like a bird on Twitter @HeatherKeet

You can also find me on Instagram @shankyouheather 

Lola and I opened a store so we can hopefully cover the world in her Bulldog face, check it out at Shank You Very Much