It’s one part funny and three parts awful.
So this new Little is literally little. He’s all newborn baby and filled with poop and crying. We have spent his first three days in daycare alternating between crying for a bottle, eating the bottle, pooping and then crying for another bottle. In between all that we try to sleep, but we haven’t been very successful. And then we arrive at today, day four of daycare. And it was 4 parts awful.
I ate a bagel (a HUGE one!), an entire box of macaroni and cheese from Kraft (those delicious bastards!) followed by two Twinkies filled with chocolate. All while missing the real Twinkie filled with vanilla.
This Little is currently in the most epic battle to the death…with his arms. Every single time he starts to drift off his Little arm shoots up and wiggles him awake. He wants them in his mouth, but they can’t quite reach because he keeps his elbow close to his body. These tiny T-Rex arms are ruining my life and the lives of all in their path.
I called two providers AND my boss just to remind myself that there are humans currently surviving this T-Rex apocalypse. I tried rocking, shushing, patting, walking, binkies, pacifiers, snugglies, wompies (who gives a shit what it means, I am in the middle of war!!) and plain old whiskey*…none of it worked!
So I finally decided that since I couldn’t make it better by making the Little happy, I would make it better using the internet. Enter bouncy chair gently rocking Little (thanks to my foot) while my non T-Rex arms used the computer to google funny T-Rex images. The internet makes everything better.
So now every time my Little jerks his arm up without actually being able to reach his face to suck his hand, I can laugh instead of cry with him. Because of you, Internet.
*NOOOO!!! I didn’t really use any whiskey on the baby or myself. I don’t even have any liquor in the house. Take your pills and go to bed, you’ve obviously forgotten how to read sarcasm.
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