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Today I went on a playdate to another provider’s house. And I realized that my very deepest desire to avoid 2 year olds is definitely backed by kids like the one I witnessed today. It wasn’t all bad. In fact, only about one hour of the day was hell.

But when I say hell I mean, shank yourself in the face, burn in the fires, have your very soul ripped out of your body, hell.

An hour was just too long. My nerves were shot and my Little and I ended up taking a leisurely drive through housing to relax. And we only live one street over, so you know the waste of gas must have been worth it.

This wonderful provider who deals with this on a daily basis is being nominated for Sainthood. And she’s not even Catholic!

This kid literally melted down over nothing. Nothing. NOTHING! Seriously, not a fucking thing.

Now, I know I can’t read minds, it may have been something, but can you shut the hell up with the damn screaming and use your words already?!?! Seriously, kid talks like a 5-year-old. USE YOUR WORDS!

My favorite moment was watching her scream “Don’t kick me!” While she kicked the shit out of another kid.

To the other provider, you are an amazing human. No way could I deal with that everyday. I’m cool with under two and over 3, but that period in between is fucking brutal. And you have three of them everyday! I’m bringing Vodka and Twinkies and we’ll try to channel the energy to remember why we do this job everyday. Because after a day like today the “because we love them reason” is just not quite cutting it. Hopefully this kid will go on to cure cancer partly because you gave it your all, everyday, to remain calm and reason with the tiny tyrant with a really huge set of lungs that is bent on destruction.

P.S. I think this provider may actually be a bionic woman, I’ve never seen someone hold up so well under these circumstances. The third provider with us bailed out at the same time I did. We ran away like the house was on fire. Fires of hell, no less!


I’d like to take this moment to remember a lady very special to my family and myself, Bernie. We will miss you and you are gone to soon. I am glad you were able to see the kids graduate from high school this year and I know that while they will find comfort in their family and friends, they will miss you greatly for the rest of their lives. It was truly a pleasure taking care of your kids when they were little and you were a wonderful woman to everyone who knew you.

While I may use sarcasm in this blog to magnify problems in life, I do appreciate my life and everything that I have. So go hug someone you love tonight and be grateful you have them!

And since we can’t leave on a sad note:

Lola


Check out my Facebook page @ShankYouHeather 

I also tweet like a bird on Twitter @HeatherKeet

You can also find me on Instagram @ShankYouHeather 

Lola and I opened a store so we can sell our funniest blog sayings on cool stuff. Check it out at Shank You Very Much

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