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The Big Little and I decided to go to Panera Bread first thing in the morning. We buy all our breads, pastries and bagels there and if you don’t go early you just get the runt of the litter. We know this rule well and we committed to following it.

So we head out at 0645 which can be a death wish when you are with a Little. However, the motivation to pick out her own breakfast pastry kept her together.

We arrive at Panera and the Little instinctively knows we are in a happy place where she gets yummy food. We stroll in and happily place our order, which is quite extensive since I’m purchasing baked goods, for a daycare, for a week.

And of course the Little needs a minute to point to what she wants from the wide variety. Hey, she’s a human with an opinion also. Back off.

And then the evil stepmother walks in. No shit, the lady looked so menacing with her silver hair and nastily pinched face that the Little buried her face in my neck and began crying.

Since we had already ordered and paid, I took my softly sobbing Little and walked to the other side to watch the worker begin bagging our order. The worker asked me if she could take the evil stepmother’s order before bagging mine so that she could get hers cooking. I was gracious. The evil stepmother did not return the favor.

Evil places her order and they are baked goods, like ours. She stands near us watching the worker bag my order. After 3 bagels had been bagged up Evil nastily asks the worker if she can just have her stuff first. The worker looks nervously at me, the Little buries her head again and I study Evil who refuses to even glance in my direction.

So I respond to the worker, who at this point is in a bad situation, “Why don’t you go ahead and fill her order. God knows she can’t wait for her muffin, but this baby is totally fine starving so an adult can be happy.” (The Little, by the way, is happily waiting for her meal and just thrilled to be out for breakfast. Better manners than an adult.)

The employee looks at me like she’s about to protest and I say “it’s really ok, some people have no manners and shouldn’t be out in public.”

So the employee gets plates and serves her the two pastries she had ordered.

Evil walks off and the worker thanks me and resumes packing my order.

And then Evil returns.

She nastily demands that someone bring her butter, various spreads (which she did not order, mind you) and that they should have given her all that to begin with. The worker looks and me, takes a deep breath from somewhere deep down and before she can even say a word, a worker from the back comes running up and tells Evil she’ll help her.

Evil glares at me and stomps off. But not before the Little got the last word in the face of a true bitch.

Little looks at Evil and yells out “Mine!” and points to her chest for emphasis, dammit(Now that’s fucking victory, any way you look at it!!!!)

And we got three free bagels as a thank you for being patient.

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