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Since yesterday I have been on quarantine. I have four more days to go until I am allowed to see humans or leave my home. I would say it sucks, but I’ve been ordered by my doctor to sit down and watch TV for days on end.

I fully intend to become one with the couch cushions.

It all started yesterday when I went to the doctor. I had some gnarly symptoms that mimicked what another patient had presented with earlier this week and my doctor immediately went into serious mode. Serious mode is frightening. One throat culture and an EKG later and I have the flu. And not the nice strain, no, I’ve got H1N1 – otherwise known as swine flu.

food- spam

I’d curse the bacon but let’s face it, I love pigs and the delicious meat they provide to humans. 

Now I’m awaiting my cardiology referral because I had an irregular heartbeat and that has worried them. This in turn worried me, which is bad since my heart is already thumping wildly within my chest. I did get to wear a fancy face mask on my way out of the doctor’s office – that gave me a laugh as people tried not to stare and failed.

As a result of my diagnostic debacle, I had to notify another daycare of their contamination and they are all being treated with preventive drugs. I’m not sure anyone will ever have a playdate with me again! Hubster was also put on quarantine with me and even though he’s not sick, he gets to take medicine also.

The best part was to come hours later as I was ensconced on my couch munching on snacks. I received multiple phone calls from departments within the Navy hospital asking about all my symptoms and all of “patient zero’s” symptoms.

How often do you get to use the phrase ‘patient zero’ in conversation?!?!

So do me a favor people…if you have ANY symptoms of the flu, please go in to be seen or lock yourself away from everyone. Though the second idea is not recommended since this strain is killing healthy, young adults in their 20s and 30s. People who have received the flu shot are not immune!

Now, I’m off to have my heart beat wildly, completely out of normal rhythm, while sweating and aching and praying for death. I have set my blog to auto publish for the next few days.

See you on the other side. Hopefully.

Check out my Facebook page @ShankYouHeather

I also tweet like a bird on Twitter @HeatherKeet

You can also find me on Instagram @ShankYouHeather and @ShankYouDesigns

Lola and I opened a store so we can sell our funniest blog sayings on cool stuff. Check it out at Shank You Very Much or click to see a special collection below: