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Definitions to help you understand the following story, just in case you’re new to my blog:
The Littles – a general reference to the babies whose habitat is my home daycare. They are a nocturnal animal who enjoy pop music, mac & cheese and long walks on the beach. Either that or sticking their fingers in other’s eyes and peeing in diapers. Sometimes I get confused. 
The Giant – That would be me, professional daycare provider. This term is used in reference to The Littles. Never used in any other way, or else you’re just belittling me and making me feel fat. 

Taking care of the Littles is like caring for the sour patch candy kids. One minute they are sour, the next they are sweet. Like the candy, they will eventually burn if you have too many.

My biggest Little is fast approaching the age of 2. For those of you who think the terrible twos exist, you are wrong. Ask any Giant and we’ll inform you that the terrible begins at 18 months and persists until they become parents. Or turn 18 and move far, far away.

So my Little was having a great morning, following a couple of days of toddler torture involving subliminal messages and threats of a regime overthrow. Everything was rolling along grandly; there was laughing, there was hugging, there were even a few high fives thrown in for good measure. Then I dared to put the cots out for nap time.

The Little morphed back into his sour counterpart.

There was screaming, there was crying, there was a Little running around desperately trying to keep out of my grasp. I finally got the Little onto his cot through sheer fear of the beast the Giant would turn into if pushed any further.

Then the singing started.

Have you ever heard a Little who can barely talk belt out Twinkle, Twinkle, Little Star like an operatic aria??? I have, and it was gruesome. Glass shattered, Lola howled, and the smallest Little consoled himself with his fist in his mouth. I myself had to walk into the hallway just to laugh so the Little didn’t know I was being affected.

I managed to compose myself and I walked over to the daycare area with my most stern Giant face on. I gave the Little my best glare, designed to bring even the most stubborn dictator under control…..

He began singing The Wheels on the Bus.

witty- daycare drinking

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Lola and I opened a store so we can sell our funniest blog sayings on cool stuff. Check it out at Shank You Very Much or click to see a special collection below: