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So Lola and I are playing a game of catch today with her favorite pink rubber ball. As I throw it Lola is jumping about 5 feet into the air and catching the ball. I’s an impressive feat considering her very meager size of 18 inches tall.

Not to mention the fact that as an English bulldog her personality is couch potato fucking unreal amounts of energy brimming over with an astronomical array of athletic prowess.

So she makes a huge leap and I do the classic human “feet apart arms out” pose to try to block her from running by me.

She responds by performing the “through the legs” move that as a fat kid I have no chance of stopping.

So I throw the ball to repeat the sequence hoping to stop her this time.

And she rams right into my leg and wipes me completely out.

I am on the ground, The Littles are crawling/ walking over to me and I am trying to figure out what in the hell just happened.

The only logical conclusion I could draw: the damn dog is on steroids.

And I’ll find out who her supplier is and kill them.

Now will someone bring me an ice pack??

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