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The Hubster.

That’s right. The man I married. The man I handpicked out of hundreds to tie my goddamn yoke to.

Mother of God. Why do you vex me so?!?!?!

So the other day I had a raging migraine and wanted a bag of my chips. I love those little tiny variety bags you get in the very large box from Costco.

But sometimes shopping at Costco causes you to store items in out-of-the-way places. Or in this case, slightly out of reach.

So I call to the hubby and tell him the chips are too high, can he please get them down for me? He is a dear, dear man and does so. He even holds the box while I rifle through and pick my “favorite” bag. He then says he’ll put it back.

So today, I get done washing a metric ass ton of toys my infants have mouthed (you know who you are!) and I am feeling a wee bit chippy. I go to the dryer and look at the shelving to determine the best step stool to reach my out of reach bulk box of chips.

And the hubster has struck again.


Note the dryer, which is almost as tall as me, with the toys I spent painstaking time cleaning.

Then note the low shelf, even higher than the dryer. Where the chips used to be. And then note…way at the top of the ceiling, way, way, way up there. The chip box.

You know that douche canoe had to get out the big step stool just to put it up that high. Good forbid he put it on the low shelf where it was and where I had a SHOT at getting them down by myself.

Some of you may be wondering why I don’t just wait until he gets home to have Chipfest 2013. Normally I would be cranky but able to manage it with other snacks until he comes home from work.

However, the Navy has fucked me. The hubster is on duty. Goddamnit, why am I so vexed by my husband and the Navy?!?!?!

I guess I’m adding the Navy to the shank list also. They played a very critical role in this debacle.

So now the only option left open to me is become goddamn Spiderman and get to the chip box or go buy a whole new huge box of tiny chips at Costco!

Blast and damn! Fat kids do not take lightly to food disappointments!!!!


And here’s a lovely picture of Lola to brighten the mood. I feel a tiny bit better.

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