I missed some sort of life lesson as a child. And that life lesson is “It’s better to be a crapbag in your professional life to reap immediate rewards, than to have ethics and wait for your just rewards.”

I know, I know. You are all telling me that I will get my just rewards and in the long run the crapbag will be left in the dust and loathed by all.

What if I die before my just rewards mature?!

I could be in a car accident today! Twinkies may become lodged in my throat and I may choke to death on my beloved squishy, yellow cake! I may fall off a curb and smack my head while trying to perfect my curb surfing routine! Spam could pop out of its can with a vengeance and break my nose thereby lodging pieces of my nose cartilage into my brain, killing me instantly!!!!

Now I have a new life plan.

Get my rewards immediately. By any means necessary. They won’t be just, but I’ll have gotten them.

I’m going to get the Hubster on board with this tonight. I better cook some dinner so he doesn’t protest the plan. But not spam, that shit could make its move to kill me tonight.


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Lola and I opened a store so we can sell our funniest blog sayings on cool stuff. Check it out at Shank You Very Much

 

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